Anything is Possible
by AtlantisJoeFan
Summary: A continuation of the story of John Sheppard and Cat, sequel to 'Trust Me'. The consequences of events three months ago have long-lasting ramifications for Cat and John.
1. Chapter 1

As the suns rose over Atlantis, the city was bathed in a golden light, tipping the control tower first, and then washing over the gleaming roofs, leaving fathomless dark green shadows to settle over the lower levels. A still figure huddled into a blanket, perched on one of the higher balconies, absorbing the beauty of the morning. She had quite a view over the city and the ocean, loving to wake up early so that she could watch sunrise stretch over the city. It was one of the perks of being married to Atlantis' Military Commander, having a suite of rooms with such a magnificent view. Mind you, there was another magnificent view that she also enjoyed watching from her vantage point. Her husband was doing his usual spider impression, all arms and legs, twisted up with the bed clothes, giving her tantalising glimpses of pink flesh.

Cat rested her chin in her hands and contemplated her life. Sometimes, with the mania that was a usual Atlantis day, there just wasn't time to pause and reflect. Three months on since John's expulsion from the city in disgrace and his return in glory, they had settled into a very happy routine, as much as was ever possible here. It had taken time for her to truly trust him again, though she had never stopped loving him, and they had only in the last month really got back to normal. It was again possible for him to surprise her with a sexual adventure, without her suffering the shadow of a fear, no more really than an echo of the feelings she had endured during his absence from Atlantis. John's job necessarily involved him with so many other people, that there was little time for a private life, and she really valued times like this, when they could be alone and together. At any moment, day or night, he could be called away, and possibly gone for days. In the last three months, she supposed they'd spent maybe a couple of dozen whole nights together. John stirred, untwisted his right leg, but only succeeded in tying up the sheets around his left thigh, now the only bit of his body covered, giving her a very good view that was far too tempting.

She crawled back into bed, faced her husband and kissed his forehead tenderly, which meant that as he opened his eyes, he had an eye-full of her breasts.

'Now, that's what I mean by a wake-up call,' he laughed, before kissing her, firmly wrapping her up in the covers with him. 'You're cold! Have you been on one of your morning vigils?' he asked. 'Now, let's see if I can't warm you up.'

The pattern of life and friendships had been subtly shifting of late. Once, John's team were a group of isolated and dysfunctional loners who had found another family in their closeness. Now, Rodney was a new father, Kate having given birth to a girl, Rosa, a month ago. John was to be Rosa's godfather and he was delighted, already an honorary uncle to Torren and to several other little ones too. Ronon and Amelia had sort of formalised their relationship, spending the nights in either his or her rooms and Teyla; Kanaan and Torren continued to work out how to be a family. There were other couples now in the city who were either married, had children or both, enough for a nursery to be opened up, and very shortly they would be in need of a teacher. Pegasus and Earth natives had lived together long enough to begin to create a new Lantean people and the city was now more than a military outpost, more a colony. There were people here who not just 'posted' to Atlantis, but who saw it as a home for their future and their children's.

Cat was becoming a little anxious about the whole 'baby' business. Ever since Teyla had hinted to him that she might be pregnant in order to get them back together again, he had seemed a little distracted, making a few comments about parenthood and fathers, though they had not had 'the discussion' yet. She was dreading it and she could see it coming, because it would open up a can of worms which she didn't want to take the can opener too. There was a history which she'd rather not have to share with anyone, even John. Her first marriage had been a disaster, he much more interested in the young men who worked for him, and it really had been a marriage of convenience, more of a connection of families for business reasons than anything else, so it had not been surprising that she'd had no children with him. After that, and until John, there had been a series of short-term relationships and she had reconciled herself to never having children, nor did she especially want them now. For her, they were perfect as they were and she didn't want to share him with anyone. There were other nasty skeletons too. In her teens, she had a fling with a tutor at college and had become pregnant. She had wanted to keep the baby, a boy she had called David, but her parents had insisted that he be adopted, citing all sorts of reasons about how it would ruin her future, she'd never get herself a man, etc. That had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life and it had left her with a gnawing pain, as of something missing, ever since. Sometimes she thought about him, amazed that he would be 25 by now, but mostly she put him away into the place where she put all the things she didn't want to think about. There had been some moments early in her relationship with John when she had thought about having a baby and she sort of thought if it happened, then fine, but it probably wouldn't. After all, though she hadn't exactly been 'careful' recently more out of absent mindedness than any deliberate forethought, she _was_ heading towards her forty second birthday.

She headed off to the cafeteria for breakfast. John had left about half-an-hour earlier, so she didn't expect him to be there and was surprised when he was. Katie and Rodney had brought little Rosa in with them and there was a small crowd of cooing adults surrounding them. When Cat reached the table, she could see why there were so many women in the group: John was sitting at the table, Rosa in his arms, making ridiculous gurgling noises at her, and you could almost hear the hormones of the women around him hum with pleasure. Words percolated through to her: 'Oh, you're so good with her'; 'make an excellent father'; 'I'd volunteer' and the like. She took one desperate look at him then turned on her heels, not willing to be part of the scene. Oh, yes, this was going to get up and bite her sooner rather than later. What she needed was space to think, and for that she needed a little time alone.

After two years exploring the city, and with the benefit of a stronger than average ATA gene, she had managed to find a few hiding places where she was certain that she couldn't be detected. A few months ago, she had discovered a small space, hidden at the back of one of the older Ancient labs. Cat had been an only child, and she still needed a few precious moments in her own company once in a while. She headed straight for it, and shutting the almost invisible door behind her, sat with her knees up under her chin, enjoying the calm and silence of the little green room. While there was not natural light down here, the walls glowed for her with an almost iridescent green, like the leaves in a rain forest where the sun glistened off the moisture. She wasn't ready to make decisions about having 'that discussion' now, more she needed space and time to calm herself so that she could go out into the world smiling again.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she woke up, she was sore and stiff. She could hear the noises of distant voices, but it wasn't until she differentiated the word 'Cat' that she realised they were looking for her. Oh, crap. John will not be happy with her. She tentatively opened the door and peeked her head out. Rodney was standing in the middle of the lab, shouting her name.

'Um, hello Rodney', she said cautiously, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. 'What time is it?'

'Oh thank God, Sheppard I've found her, you are so in trouble; he's been going mental trying to find you. It's gone two in the afternoon and you've been missing for hours. I'm glad it's you and not me this time.' He tapped his radio. 'We're in that old lab where we found the ascension device.' Rodney winced as a voice spoke into his ear. 'Um, he says stay put and he'll be here soon, but not in quite those words. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to stay alive to see my daughter grow up, so I'm getting out of his way. Never come between a furious Colonel and the object of his wrath, I always say, or at least I do now!'

'Shit! I fell asleep. Is he really pissed, Rodney? I'd better go and find him and apologise.'

'Oh, I don't think _you'll _need to find _him_, 'and he literally sprinted from the room, just missing a hurtling John coming the other way.

Cat had never seen him look so furious. I mean, she'd seen him angry at Rodney and cross with a marine, but this was different. In a very steady and deliberate voice he said, 'What the hell do you think you're doing? I've had several teams searching for you for the last 2 hours. You wasted valuable manpower: I even called off an off-world mission to find you.' Then he stood, hands on hips, demanding an answer.

She knew she should have just apologised, but at that moment her stubbornness wouldn't let her. A righteous anger fired inside her. 'I needed some space. I don't see why you were so worried, after all I'm not a child and I don't need your permission to be alone.'

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. He took one last livid look at her, then stormed out of the room.

'Oh, well done, Cat.'

She half-expected him to go to his old rooms that night and by midnight she had resigned herself to a night alone in a cold bed, but in the early hours of the morning, he crept under the covers. He said nothing to her as he got up a few hours later, and managed to leave the room with not so much as a glance. Well, that could have been worse, she thought....though not much! Cat often found that her work was the best way to take her mind of things, so she headed down to the archives, skipping breakfast and the sight of any more cooing women. It was about half way through the morning when she had the call to meet SGA1 in Woolsey's office.

The team were gathered in their usual places around the huge leather topped conference table that Woolsey had brought with him from Earth. When Cat arrived, she glanced to her right at John, who studiously avoided making eye contact.

'Doctor Sheppard. We have been contacted by a delegation from a planet called Danthos. It appears that they have a very interesting problem which they would like our help with, and I think you might be just the person. Apparently, according to their mythology, there is an Ancient library in the basement of an old ruined building on the outskirts of their main town. In this library are some texts which, they say, will help them with a very sticky problem they have, although they wouldn't go into much detail as to what the problem is: something about old medicines and cures. Anyway, it seems to me that, as they are a peaceful and agrarian society and we still have need of allies who can provide us with supplies, especially with Atlantis' growing population, it would be politic to lend them a hand. Now, the Colonel here could probably help with this ATA gene, but I think that given the nature of what they are looking for, your expertise could be most helpful, especially as they have a limited knowledge of Ancient. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is right up your street,'

Getting ready for the mission and the trip through the gate was probably the most uncomfortable she had ever felt. John studiously ignored her, even failing to check her back pack, which he always did. He stomped ahead, back solid with anger. In fact, nobody said very much, all sensing the unpleasant atmosphere. Several times, Cat tried to catch up with him, but he was absolutely resolute in his bad temper and it wasn't until they arrived in the village that he spoke at all, putting on his usual charming smile for the strangers who greeted them, but all the while alert to possible danger.

'Hi. My name's Colonel John Sheppard. This is Doctor Mckay, Ronon, Teyla and,' here he paused, 'Doctor Catherine Sheppard.'

'Welcome, people of Atlantis. We are honoured and grateful that you are prepared to assist us. My name is High Counsellor Balthus.' Balthus was a slight man, with bright blue eyes and pepper and salt hair which made him impossible to age. He was wearing a long cream coloured robe, with some kind of iridescent red stone, set in a circular mount, hanging from a gold chain around his neck. 'Your sister perhaps, Colonel?' he asked.

Rodney emitted a snort of suppressed laughter at the thought and earned a glower from John, who then corrected the man, rather curtly Cat thought, before asking, 'so, what is it that we can do for you? You said you had a problem that we could solve.'

Balthus paused. 'Yes indeed, Colonel, but that can come later. It is our custom to greet honoured guests with a feast.' Cat inwardly giggled at Rodney's enthusiastic expression. 'Please, come this way and I will show you to your quarters.'

Ronon whispered in John's ear, 'Quarters? I didn't know we were staying?'

'Let's go with it for the moment, Ronon. But stay alert. I think we could all do with a bit of rest and relaxation. It makes a change from being shot at, kidnapped or blown up!'

The rooms were sumptuously furnished, with red velvet like fabric draping the walls and the beds and candles lit in delicately gilt sconces, flickering seductive shadows across the floor and furnishings. Rodney and Ronon were given one room (I'm not sleeping with you, if that's what you think,' winced Rodney), Teyla a smaller room to herself and Cat and John the third and grandest.

'Why do you get the master bedroom and I have to sleep with the Yeti here,' complained Rodney,' You know how badly he snores!'

Which earned him a snort and a scowl from Ronon? 'Well at least I don't talk in my sleep. Does anyone have any earplugs handy?'

'Let's just make the most of a bad job, shall we?' replied John. Cat grimaced at the implication. One way or another she needed to make it up to and with him.

The feast was magnificent. Balthus and the Danthosians treated them like royalty. Ronon drank too much in an attempt to pass out before he had to cope with Rodney's sleep-talking, guaranteeing that he would snore more than ever, and Rodney drank too much so that he would not hear Ronon's drink induced snoring. Both staggered to their rooms and passed out on the huge bed. Cat was grateful not to spending the night with them: she suspected the air might be a little stale in there come morning. Teyla was dignified, quiet and diplomatic as always, sweet-talking Balthus before politely wishing everyone goodnight. John was still not looking at her, let alone talking to her. At one point in the evening, she thought she heard her name mentioned when Balthus whispered something in his ear, but couldn't be sure. When they finally left the festivities, still likely to continue for some time without the guests of honour, the silence between them was as cold as the Antarctic winter.

She sat down on the end of the bed as her husband quickly undressed, like a shy school boy not wanting to show any naked flesh, and almost leapt under the covers, still with his boxers on, and turned with his back firmly away from her.

'Oh, I've had enough of this,' she thought, as she undressed, deciding to wear as little in bed as she usually did, and she snuggled up behind him. He shifted slightly and rather awkwardly, but still was determined to carry on the charade. She placed her hand round his waist, feeling the contraction of his stomach muscles as she began to stroke his skin and then leant forward, pressing her breasts, which she knew he was quite fond of, against his back and started to kiss up the back of his long neck and nibble the tip of his wonderfully pointed ear. For a moment, she thought he would carry on ignoring her, then suddenly he turned around, grabbed her arms and pinned her to the bed beneath him, his eyes dark with a combination of pure lust and retained anger. Wordlessly, she held his stare, frozen briefly in the moment, before passion and desire got the better of him and the kiss she received was full of a burning fire, leaving them both breathless and panting. Then, his mouth came crashing down on hers again and he moved his hand down he trembling body, finding the places that he knew drove her wild. Cat could feel the heat building from her toes upwards as he touched her, the strength of his emotions clearly evident in his body too and they fell into a frenzied and ardent lovemaking, both losing awareness of anything but the moment, both knowing that it had never been quite like this between them before. Afterwards they were left in a panting heap, sleepy and content, all anger dissipated, and a familiar peace settled on them as they curled up in each other's arms and slept the night through.

In the distance, had they been awake, they would have heard the thunderous rumble of Ronon's snoring and the squeaky whine of Rodney's voice, complaining even in sleep.

In the morning, Cat woke up to an empty bed and briefly panicked less John should have remembered their argument and still not forgiven her. However, her fears abated as he entered the room, already in his BDU's, and threw his gorgeous toothy smile, the one that he reserved only for her.

'Come on, sleepy head, we've work to do. Balthus wants to head off to the ruins as soon as possible, something about short days and nasty bear-like creatures in the outer forests.' He leant over and kissed her, a kiss that was in danger of becoming more, especially given her naked state and the mutually shared thought of uniform on bare flesh. He reluctantly pulled away and laughingly threw her clothes at her. 'Meet you in 10?'

The walk to the ruins was an obstacle course of sharp, jagged rocks and dense undergrowth. They were only about an hour's walk from the village, though given Rodney's grumpy bedraggled appearance and Ronon's sour face, it might have been ten times as far. Hidden in a mass of green moss and climbers was a large stone doorway, with no obvious way to open it. John nodded in Cat's direction and she walked over to the door, passing her hand over the rough surface to see if she could find a handle of button of some sort. In the middle was a circular and spherical indentation. Cat's eyes were drawn to the pendant around Balthus' neck.

'High Counsellor? Have you tried placing your necklace in this mark?'

He nodded.

'Yes, many years ago. It is a perfect fit, but nothing happened. That is one of the reasons why we asked you here. We feel certain that it must be some kind of key, but maybe the mechanism is broken?'

'Would you mind giving it to me, and I will see if I can make it work?' Balthus passed it to her and she was about to press it into the door when John grasped her arm and pulled her back.

'Wait! We don't know what it will do. McKay, have your scans showed up anything?'

'No, nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing. Zero. Zip. Blank.' Rodney grimaced and went an even paler shade of green.

John nodded at her and let go of her arm. Stepping forward, Cat placed the stone into its place in the centre of the door. There was a bright flash and she felt herself thrown forwards, then everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

For a moment, the little group stood in silent stillness outside the heavy door. One minute, Cat was there, placing the locket in the key and the next she had disappeared. There hadn't been a sound, just a white flash of light. Briefly, John couldn't help wondering why these things always seemed to happen to them.

'Rodney?' he queried. 'What the hell just happened? Do you have any readings and why didn't we have any readings before?'

'There's nothing, no life-sign, no energy readings, nothing,' Rodney replied, with a sharp grimace at John's angry but concerned expression. 'And there was nothing before. Hold on…..' and he paused.

'What...what?' Why did the man always do that?

'There was a brief energy sign just about the same time as she disappeared. It's clearly Ancient, but that's all I can say at the moment.' Rodney bent over his tablet and continued working furiously.

From the corner of his eye, Ronon spotted Balthus attempting to shuffle away and he blocked his path. John wheeled on Balthus: he felt like punching the man's lights out. Somehow, the little man was responsible for this and he was damn well going to sort it out. 'Counsellor,' he began, as politely as he could muster, 'can you shed any light on what just happened? Where is my wife?' It wasn't often that he used that term, especially off-world, but it seemed highly appropriate at the moment: the man needed to realise his predicament here. And for those who knew John, the calm forcefulness in his voice foretold real danger if he didn't get the answer he wanted or people he loved were threatened; his face was set in a neutral expression, but the green eyes flashed the anger he was trying to contain. Not a violent man, he had proved himself quite capable of taking 'firmer' action where need be. Ronon stood behind him, blaster casually cocked, ready to assist if necessary. Teyla moved behind Balthus, again calmly and with a quiet smile. As ever, the team worked as one, in tune with each other to an almost uncanny degree. 'If anything has happened to her, and I find out it's his fault….' John tried to calm his thoughts.

Balthus shifted uncomfortably. 'I am very sorry, Colonel. The door has not opened for some time and I did not know what was going to happen.' He hesitated, sensing the danger around him. 'There are old stories…that the entrance is guarded by magic and only the chosen can enter. That is why we asked for Atlantis' help. For many years, no-one on Danthos has been able to call up the magic of the old ruins. We have known of you for some time, but it is only recently that we began to see you as a possible solution to our problems, when you visited us in one of your flying ships and we realised that some of you were related to the ancestors.'

'Firstly, tell me, how do we open the door?' The last thing John needed right now was a history lesson. 'Then, you can tell us why you needed our help and what is so important in these so-called archives.' His patience was wearing thin and all he could think about was where Cat had gone, memories of a time when _he _was lost behind a door and of the six months he aged while there, not forgetting the desperate feeling of abandonment.

***

Alone? Blind? No, dark only. Cat was sure she was lying down, but couldn't be sure. Her skin tingled and she felt more tired than she ever had, as though something had taken her life-force from her, and yet she also felt strangely excited and elated, like a little girl waiting for Christmas. Where? Inside the door? The floor was rough and gritty, and as she reached out her left hand she was aware of a wall of the same substance. No, not a wall. A door? She ran her hand up the door and felt something smooth and shiny, her touch immediately illuminating the patch of bright metal and at once a beam of blue light radiated powerfully, at first a narrow beam of dense ocean blue, but spreading out into the distance and through the wall it became a sheet of aqua marine. As the beam dissipated, her hand was thrown from the glittering metal, as casually as a child throws a toy from a high chair and, her vision blurring, she felt a sudden rush of cool air on her face.

***

Balthus was clearly very nervous about continuing. All it took was a nod in Ronon's direction and he had the deadly blaster against his right ear. 'Alright, I'll tell you.' Again he paused, flinching from the Satedan's closeness. 'Legend says that at the moment the chosen one unlocks the door, the secrets of the library are released and its magic will cure the sick. We have a great need of assistance. Did you notice that we do not have many young children? Well, that is because there has been a great sickness among our people that has stopped us producing young. The old stories say that whatever is beyond that door, we have always called it the library, is a powerful medicine. Once, over five thousand years ago, a similar sickness ailed our people, damaged already by a powerful culling, and our people enlisted the help of the library. It is said that among us lived a being who could take human form if they wished, but also lived in a non-corporeal state. When they activated the key with the pendant, a bright light shone through the walls and not long afterwards we began to have young again.' He paused and glanced anxiously over his shoulder towards the towering Satedan.

Rodney had been quietly working on his tablet. 'Well, that makes sense. We have long suspected that Ancient medicine was quite sophisticated, though they seldom deigned to use it on ordinary humans.' At this he sneered. One of the things they had long learned to dislike about The Ancients was their selective use of technology, leaving the people of the Galaxy frozen in a permanently agrarian and pastoral state, ready meat for the Wraith. 'It wouldn't be the first time that we have come across a single Ancient looking after their flock.' He smiled knowingly at John, remembering Chaya. 'So you are saying that some sort of energy beam may erupt from that rock and make everyone fertile again?'

Teyla looked a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as much as Ronon. While having a son was definitely on his list of things to do, it was very much for the future and he and Amelia were still in the first stages of their relationship. Rodney's smug look simply said, 'well, I don't need any help.' All John could think about was whether Cat was alright. Suddenly, the floor beneath them began to rumble and small stones were flung from somewhere above the stone door.

'Get back!' John shouted, as they all took cover from the landslide.

A bright blue light burst through the door, sweeping over them like a wave and, as they ducked, it flew on past them, broadening and stretching so that every atom from the sky and earth was bathed in an almost ghostly hue. At the same time, the door seemed to shimmer and Cat's unconscious figure was thrown through the portal, landing almost at the feet of her husband in an undignified sprawl.

John heard Ronon curse: Balthus had taken the opportunity to escape the immediate danger he was in, running off through the trees. He leant down and felt Cat's pulse and, breathing a sigh of relief and satisfied that it was strong, picked her effortlessly up in his strong arms. 'Come on, guys, we're out of here. We'll come back later and deal with these people. For now, we need to get our wounded back to Atlantis.' He looked down anxiously at her face, expressionless and still. It was unnerving. Cat's face was never without movement: it was one of the things he loved about her. She smiled and laughed more than anyone he had ever known. Indeed, he could often locate her by the sound of her laugh and the laughter of those who gathered around her. Damn, she was good for the city, and for him. Pushing his worries to one side, he concentrated on the rescue, as always using his military training to help ease his emotions. Only those who knew him could spot the tell-tale flashes of worry that flickered across his hazel eyes, like a glimpse of the finest emerald.

'Mckay, dial the damn gate and let Atlantis know we have a medical emergency.' The blue circle shimmered into life.

***

Cat woke as from a long restful sleep, wearily opening her eyes to the familiar sights and sounds of the infirmary. She was beginning to feel that this routine was almost a necessary part of how her relationship with John had developed, given the number of their crises the place had witnessed. Sitting slumped in the chair to her right was her sleeping husband, hair tousled even more than usual, with a little cow-lick sticking up like a sun-flare from the back of his head. Blearily, she gazed in his direction while mentally ticking off the parts of her body that were working. Yes, everything seemed in working order and yet she felt a little 'off', her forehead slightly numb as from one drink too many at the Christmas party. She could vaguely remember what had happened, but not escaping from wherever the door had taken her, nor how she got back to Atlantis.

John stirred, noticed she was awake and smiled a broad smile, showing off his even white teeth, the corners of his eyes crinkling. 'Hey, sleepy head, how're you feeling? You gave me a bit of a scare back there.' He stepped over to her with one long stride and affectionately planted a gentle kiss on her lips, taking her chin in his hands, then deepened the kiss in the way only he could, almost making her toes curl up with pleasure.

'A little groggy,' she replied, when she finally caught her breath. 'What happened?'

He explained what they had witnessed on the planet, and some of what Balthus had told them, for the moment leaving out the detail about the Ancient fertility treatment. Despite what Cat suspected, he too was having difficulty with the whole unspoken baby talk business, very confused about what he was feeling. John had always supposed that he would have children at some point, though at the same time he had never really expected to find someone to have children with. In truth, he quite liked the whole 'Uncle John' business and wasn't sure if he wanted to share Cat with anyone else. As to whether he wanted a baby, well that was something he hadn't made up his mind about. He also wasn't stupid, and though a perfectly loyal husband, it would be a fool who didn't enjoy the female attention and the cooing around him every time he picked up a baby. It was way too early to assess whether Atlantis had been affected by the beam of light, if it even worked in the first place, and he thought it best not to raise the possibly thorny subject yet. One of the many things that the couple had in common was to deal with difficulties by burying them, to be dug up only by necessity. Typically, a quick exit was probably the easiest solution.

'Well, now that you're awake, I'll head off to see Wolsey and file my report. He'll be chewing at the bit by now,' and he turned on his tail and left, back resolutely set against any return.

Cat frowned to herself. She always knew when John left something unsaid and she'd had plenty of practice. He was a man unused to opening up to another, although he could now say 'I love you' with only a little self-consciousness, and she had learned to recognise the way the gleam of his hazel eyes dimmed at the moment when an unsaid truth or uncomfortable fact was in danger of being exposed, often leaving the charming smile still present. And there was something not quite right about what had happened on the planet though she wasn't quite sure what; she could almost literally feel it in her bones.

Shrugging to herself, she turned over and tried to get back to sleep, falling back on her usual tactic of imagining John's body. Not always guaranteed to send her to sleep, it would always take her mind off immediate problems. She started with the top of his head, where else would be possible, imagining the spiky hair and the smell of his hair gel, used to try to tame the rebellious mop. God, John always smelt so good too! He had the unmistakeable John smell of Aqua Velva, soap and the musky aroma that was only him. Then, she saw the expressive brow, and the beautiful hazel eyes, with the perfectly defined nose sweeping down to his full and expressive mouth. She had watched the women, and some of the men, as they were drawn to John, their eyes often pausing on the pouty lips, pupils dilating with their own fantasies of what that mouth could do. His long neck was the next object of her gaze, the prominent Adam's apple so masculine, with the dip below heading down towards the hair that carried on down his chest to his abdomen, which was still firm and lean from constant exercise. She was just heading toward another of her favourite parts, imagining the strong arms pulling her towards him, when she fell asleep, exhausted by her recent adventures.

***

Woolsey waited in nervous anticipation for the first signs of an Atlantis baby boom. It would be exceedingly inconvenient to say the least, with possibly serious consequences for the running of the city. But after a couple of months, apart from a couple of scientists, there was no news to report and he began to relax a little. They had made the briefest contact with Danthos, and the news was that the hoped for baby boom there had begun. Balthus had attempted a return to a more diplomatic footing, but Woolsey wasn't ready for that yet. He had a feeling that, once the planet was awash with new born, they would call for Atlantis' help soon enough, and then he would have the necessary upper hand. Woolsey's political manoeuvrings bordered on the Machiavellian at times, but with the increasingly shifting power structures in the Galaxy this had proved a most useful skill for the city. It would seem, for now, that the city was safe from being overrun by noisy infants and demanding toddlers.

The 'A' team sat around the large conference table reviewing the Danthos file.

'As far as I can tell, the beam was unable to reach as far as the city or the rest of the galaxy. I had at first thought that it might behave in a similar fashion to a microwave, but it appears to have dissipated in the planet's atmosphere. I think that _we_ were safe from the effects because it passed over us in its condensed form, before it spread to blanket the inhabited areas of Danthos. There is also the possibility that those with the ATA gene are immune; that the Ancients designed it so that they would not be affected.' Rodney finished his report then added, 'And , as we all know, the Ancients would not want to sully their genetic gene pool with any random DNA and god knows what the effect might have been on them, especially those who were living among the human population.' In the years they had been in the city, they had begun to realise that their predecessors were incredibly arrogant and sometimes showed little value for human life. Woolsey scribbled on his notepad, and then firmly shut it, placing the pen down parallel to it on the table.

'Right. For now let's call the case closed. Colonel, please stay behind. I would like a quick word.' After nearly two years, the team knew that Woolsey meant 'dismissed' and they sidled out, but not before Rodney had passed an evil look at the man's back and Teyla and Ronon had raised eyebrows at each other.

Woolsey waited for the doors to close. 'Colonel, now we've been able to put the whole Danthos incident to bed, I would like to get back to a more routine running of the city. We have a batch of new recruits arriving in two days on The Daedelus and I am sure you would like to do your usual introductions and organise the newbie party too? Perhaps Catherine might like to be involved in the latter? If you don't mind me saying so, Colonel, she's seemed a little distracted of late.'

John ignored the comment. 'I'll ask her. I'm sure she would like help with the party.' With a curt nod and a cool smile, he left the conference room. It was true, though he wouldn't admit it to Woolsey. She had been distracted, often drifting off into her own thoughts, becoming disassociated with those around her in a way that was most unusual for her when in company. He had long since accepted her need to escape to whichever hidey-hole was her latest secret place, finding time and space to be alone, but it was most uncharacteristic of her to be so distant with other people. It was definitely time for some 'them' time and he determined to organise another kind of party for them tonight. Truly, he was really crap at this kind of thing and usually Cat was the one to plan romantic trysts around the city. With sudden inspiration, he headed off to the canteen. Chief Maria Johnson, his most ardent admirer, would be able to help him out he was sure.

The summer winds gently kissed the fringes of the East Pier, blowing up little eddies of dust which reflected the setting suns' golden rays, the motes glittering in the early evening light. John had secretly placed an invitation, this time with a single rose-like flower which he had begged from Katie, on Cat's work desk.

Dear Catherine

I have been watching and admiring you from afar. You are a very beautiful and sexy woman and I would love to get to know you better.

Please meet me in the East Pier at 7:30pm tonight. I promise you it will be worth it!

A secret admirer.

x

Long ago, they had got into the habit of formalising their 'dates' and it had certainly kept the romance fresh. John had been stunned and surprised by her willingness to indulge in all manner of fantasies. However, she was much the more imaginative of the two of them when creating their more extended narratives. John wistfully remembered that time here when she had greeted him dressed as a French maid, the memory of which only served to increase the anticipation of her arrival. This time, he was determined to give her as much pleasure as she had him that night and, hopefully at the same time, relieve some of the tension that had been so evident in her recently. He had quietly reminded Lorne about the 'Saturday night curfew' on the East Pier, and Lorne had silently nodded. John knew that he and Cat would have the place to themselves tonight and inwardly thanked his 2iC for his sensitivity and unswerving loyalty.

The door slid open and Cat stepped onto the pier. A tall figure stepped out of the shadows, holding another single flower, and handed it to her with a gleaming smile and eyes shining with pleasure. His hair was still sexily tousled, and she took time to take in the clothes he was wearing and what they revealed of the body beneath. She hadn't seen the olive-green shirt before, and he had undone the buttons at the front just a little more than he would usually, even for her, showing off his toned and firm chest. A necklace hung round his neck, the jade green stone perfectly matching the shirt and reflecting the colour from his eyes. For a moment, she allowed herself to smile at the crumpled edges of the shirt and the way the buttons joined but the shirt still gaped between them showing tantalising glimpses of smooth skin, and at the failed attempt to tuck it in to the low slung jeans. She could swear they were new too, slightly lighter in colour than he usually wore, but she wasn't complaining. After all, the paler the fabric, the more the light could reflect off the curves beneath. The whole effect made her want to ravish him there and then, but she could see that he had carefully planned whatever was about to happen, so resisted the temptation.

John guided her to the pile of cushions and blankets that he had set out on their private spot. On the ground was a cloth, with a large bowl of the Pegasus Galaxy's answer to strawberries, ten times better than the real thing, two glasses and a bottle of champagne in a silver cooler. Without speaking, he gently placed her on the cushions, and then expertly popped the champagne cork. One of the many things that surprised Cat about her husband was the sophistication of his social skills, the result of a highly privileged education and upbringing, but also part of his natural ease in any situation. He passed her a glass, picked up a strawberry from the bowl and putting it to her mouth encouraged her to bite a piece, then put his hand over hers and guided the glass seductively to her mouth, all the time keeping his darkening hazel eyes on hers. The fizzy wine bubbled down her throat and before she could swallow the strawberry she felt his lips on hers, his tongue exploring her mouth, sharing the taste of the fruit. The sensation was extra-ordinary and she closed her eyes so that she could focus entirely on the touch of his lips and the shared sensations which made her whole body sparkle and tingle. Opening her eyes, she looked again into those beautiful green eyes, seeing the depths upon depths within them that she alone was allowed to see and then he leant forward for another strawberry, placing it half in her mouth and then half in his, so that their lips touched softly at first, but hardened into a passionate kiss as the fruit was eaten. This time, he didn't stop and she felt his hands begin to explore, pushing up her dress and sliding up her body. Slowly and seductively he undressed her, laying her back on the cushions so that he could take a lingering appreciative look at her, then he began to place strawberries all over her body. He stood back to admire his artwork, then began to take off his own clothes, again taking his time, to allow her to watch him and understand the effect she was having on him. Even after all this time, she couldn't believe that this beautiful man was hers to play with and that he loved her so much too. Standing naked, with his back to the ocean and the golden light reflecting off his smooth body, he looked almost like an angel and she took her time to admire every inch of him as he swayed towards her. He straddled her and then very gently began to eat the fruit from his fleshy plate, allowing his tongue to caress her as he did. Cat lost all sense of time or place, and was only aware of John and what he was doing to her; even before making love to her he managed to give her wave upon wave of the most incredible pleasure. Afterwards, he took her in his arms, whispered how much he loved her and wrapped the two of them up in the soft blankets, so that they could sleep the night under the soft summer air and the glistening stars.

'Good morning,' he whispered in her ear, then kissed her gently on the mouth. The morning light was rising and she felt warm and cold all at the same time.

'M'ning,' she answered blearily, before pulling him closer to her, unwilling to let him go. 'Thank you, my love. That was an amazing night. I wish we could do it all over again.'

Well, John was only human after all (and he'd woken her up a little early than he needed to anyway!) so that it was another hour before they finally left the pier and headed back to their quarters, trying to avoid the amused stares of the early morning shift. Despite their attempts at secrecy, it was a well known fact that the Colonel and his wife had a very active sex life, and it was a measure of the respect in which they were held that such evidence of a night elsewhere than their quarters was greeted with such polite affection. And more than one female in the city indulged in her own fantasies of what she could be doing with the dashing military commander, if only he were to realise that she was the one for him.

***

Cat was delighted to be so fully involved in the newbie party. She remembered how important it had been to her, especially since it had been then that the seeds of her relationship with John had been planted. Woolsey suggested that she host the event, more formalising her position on Atlantis. There were twenty new recruits arriving on The Daedelus, ten more marines, some scientists and the new nursery nurse, who interestingly had turned out to me a man. John was meeting them at the West Pier, The Daedelus landing for some Ancient updates which McKay had developed, with the 'help' of Zelenka, though Cat suspected that the other way round was closer to the truth, and John had asked her to be present to greet them. Standing next to him, she watched the soldiers arrive first, their glances at her husband showing the usual contrast of, from some (often the younger ones) respect for his reputation and from a few contempt based upon an assumption that their new commanding officer was the 'flyboy pilot' with a bad record that they had heard rumours about back on Earth. It used to bother Cat, but she had seen how John quickly won them over and she could now dismiss the insolent looks they gave him.

The last to disembark was a tall young man with very blonde hair and a delicate beauty which some might call almost feminine. For some reason, she found herself staring at him, drawn to his ethereal good looks and calm demeanour, until she caught John glowering at her from the corner of her eye, and quickly looked down at her feet.

'You must be Colonel Sheppard?' she heard a quiet male voice say. Glancing up, she caught his eyes as he smiled at her, held out his hand and said, 'My name's Andrew Alexander. I'm the new nursery nurse.'

'Doctor Catherine Sheppard,' she replied, quickly adding, 'Welcome to Atlantis.'


	3. Chapter 3

_I promise that I haven't lost track with the beginning of this story – all will make sense, just stick with me!_

The newbie party was usually held in the main bar area, but since it was Summer Cat wanted to do something different. The South Pier was the perfect place, shaded from the brisker evening winds, and at night time the two moons shone almost directly above it. She loved the city so much that she wanted the new recruits to see its perfect beauty, just like a mother showing off her child. Harry Burt, the infamous Atlantis barman, had created a special newbie cocktail which ingredients he would not give up, but it packed quite a punch and had floored many an unsuspecting young marine. It was weird being the hostess, meeting and greeting her guests as though she was someone important, which she knew she was not, but it did give John the opportunity to socialise with all the new recruits, now that he no longer had to worry about the organisation.

She glanced in his direction. He was totally at ease with the social situation, a young female scientist hanging on his every word, fluttering her eyelashes at him in some vein hope that she might end up in his bed tonight. Not for the first time, Cat smiled to herself. She knew he enjoyed the attention, loving the ego massage despite his professed embarrassment at all the attention and was flashing his most charming smile at the young woman, but also knew that she would be the one with him tonight, a knowledge confirmed by his need to make regular eye contact with her throughout.

It was about half way through her evening when she saw the blonde nursery nurse heading in her direction, smilingly holding out his hand in greeting and thanking her for the 'lovely party'. It gave her the chance to have a closer look at him. He was quite tall and very thin, certainly over 6ft, and his blonde hair was parted at one side, the long fringe permanently flopping over his forehead and having to be swept back from his eyes, which were a piercing bright blue with the blondest eye-lashes she had ever seen. At first, she hadn't quite distinguished his accent, but she now recognised the unmistakeable transatlantic lilt of an English man who had long lived in America, the more clipped vowels occasionally stretching into a longer drawl. She guessed he was probably in his twenties.

'I just love working with babies and young children,' he was responding to her question about why he had chosen his career. 'I know that people find it strange and there aren't many men in my line of work, but it is something I've always wanted to do. When Stargate Command discovered that I had the ATA gene, I was recruited, very quickly as it happens, just three months ago.'

Cat listened intently as he continued with his story, finding herself strangely drawn to the unusual young man. There was something about him that drew her in and it wasn't until she heard a cough at her shoulder that she turned away from him to see her husband trying to attract her attention.

'So, Andrew,' he said, placing a proprietorial arm around her shoulder, 'what do you think of Atlantis so far?'

'I'm impressed, Colonel, and its inhabitants are so friendly!' At this the young man winked at Cat and wandered off to chat to one of the new scientists.

John grunted under his breath, and released his rather tight hold on her. 'Well, he seems very 'nice'', he said pointedly. 'You certainly appeared to be enjoying each other's company.'

Cat look sideways at her husband. True, the younger man had attracted her attention, but not in the way he suspected. However, she was vaguely irritated by his assumption and saw no reason to dissuade him, especially given the time he had spent flirting with the young female recruits. 'Yes, he is rather attractive, isn't he?' she said provocatively, and she left his side to talk to some more of her guests. She heard him huff from behind her and was aware that he had left her side, the familiar tight back showing his temper.

All in all, apart from a jealous husband and the slightly taught atmosphere between him and the nursery nurse, she though the evening had been a great success. A couple of the younger recruits had left early, having drunk too many of Harry's cocktails, but most seemed to enjoy themselves and Atlantis had never looked better. The city felt like an old friend who she wanted desperately to show off to everyone, and it had glistened green and gold in the fading light, the laughter of the guests mingling with the sound of the summer evening breeze whistling high above the pier through the maze of towers. However, back in their quarters, the air was a little less soft and balmy. She undressed for bed and joined John, who was curled up tightly with his back away from her, clearly still awake, but desperately pretending not to be. Had she been less tired or irritated with him, she might have closed the space between them, but she was both and she decided to let him stew in his juices for a while. He needed to learn to trust her. It wasn't much better in the morning either, he getting up quickly and heading off for his morning run, without a word. And, the next evening, he stayed out late with Rodney, playing with their remote control cars late into the night, before grumpily returning to bed in the early hours.

Over the next week, the tension between the couple did not abate. Cat, always stubborn and with a tendency to take offence far too readily, was not willing to disabuse John of what she saw as a slight on her character, and he allowed the seed of jealousy to grow irrationally. They still shared a bed, but that was about all they shared, and once again the other inhabitants of the city had to put up with the fall-out from his mood. Marines were placed on extra duties, off-world teams were berated for not reporting back on time and one of the younger recruits even ended up in the brig for drinking too much on his night off, normally the cause of a good-humoured ticking off from his CO. Rodney had taken to avoiding his friend when he saw him coming, knowing that, in this mood, John would be less than lenient with, what he knew to be, his unwittingly acerbic tongue. Even Ronon had begun to reschedule some of their practice sessions, having suffered a cut lip as John took out his mood on his best friend. All of Atlantis sighed and waited for the ruckus to be over, so that things could get back to normal.

Cat continued to visit Andrew in the nursery, taking time to find out more about him. He told her about his upbringing with a nice middle-class family in England, and that he had come to America when he was twenty one, wanting to broaden his horizons and explore more of The World, never imagining that he would end up in another galaxy. She even began to help out with some of the younger babies and began to enjoy it in a way she never had before. A couple of times, she caught John spying on them from the door of the nursery, which made her shuffle even closer to the younger man, just to provoke a reaction.

Matters came to a head on the eighth day after the party. Once again, they were lying in bed, his back set against her, wearing a t-shirt and jogging bottoms which was a sure sign that Colonel Sheppard was not pleased. She had just shut her eyes, though she doubted if she would get much sleep, when she found herself pinned down under her husband, his hazel eyes flashing with anger, her arms held firmly above her head.

For a moment he stared at her then he demanded loudly through gritted teeth, 'I need to know. What is going on between you and that nurse? What do you see in him? He's young enough to be your son. It's indecent the way you've been throwing yourself at him.' John paused, breathing hard in an attempt to hold back from hurting her, the emotion clear in his expressive eyes, tears just welling beneath the surface. 'I never saw you as the baby-snatching type. I mean, he barely shaves and he's such a boy.' At this he released her arms, and was about the get off her, not wanting to give away any more of the distress he was feeling.

Cat realised that it was time for the charade to stop. She could hold on to her feeling of righteous indignation in the face of his angry jealousy, but couldn't bear to see him so hurt. As soothingly as she could, she stroked his stubbly cheek and chin with the back of her hand. 'My darling! Why would I want a boy when I have such a man?' His eyes widened and he paused, undecided between staying and storming out of the room. She continued, attempting to hold eye-contact with him. 'Who else could make me feel so much like a woman? I am very lucky. You're everything I've always wanted and more. No-one else could make me feel like you do just by a single touch or a look across the room.' Cat could sense his shift in mood, as he began to breathe more heavily, his pupils starting to dilate. Oh yes, she had missed this and there was no way he was going to get away from her now. 'I have a husband who is man and boy all at the same time. Who can take me in his arms and hold me strongly, but also still be youthful enough in spirit to race remote control cars with his friends. Who is the best lover a woman could ever hope for,' (oh, yes he was certainly interested now!) 'and who is the most lusted after man in the whole of Atlantis.' As she spoke, she moved her hand across his chest and down his stomach, feeling his muscles quiver as she did. His breathing sped up and she could feel him shaking with the effort of maintaining control over himself, then in a sudden motion he wrapped his arms around her, holding her firmly, and kissed her so passionately that she lost all sense of time or place. When they parted lips, she gazed into his eyes and, even though they were now smiling and heavy with lust, there was still a distant ache and the suggestion of a suppressed tear.

'You don't have to worry. You will never have to worry. There is no man for me other than you. I love you beyond words.' She could see him begin to relax, the eyes always so expressive now full of desire and want, and he kissed her again, running his hands across her breasts and down her body, showing how well he knew the places that gave her most pleasure. She, in turn, revelled in the smooth firmness of his back, keeping her touch just strong enough to avoid tickling him.

For a moment they paused. 'You mustn't ever feel jealous. You should know that I'd never betray you with another man and I'm sorry that I made you feel like this. I was so angry that you failed to trust me that I couldn't see how much I was hurting you, but you must promise never to doubt me again.' She needed to make him understand. He nodded his head and whispered 'I promise' huskily, before he continued with his caresses, and they fell together in a loving and passionate embrace, making up for all the lost hours they had spent coldly ignoring each other for the days previously. And if Colonel Sheppard and his wife looked a little tired the next day, nobody particularly minded because his lively smile was back on his face and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

***

Chief Maria Johnson, Head of Catering in the city and probably John Sheppard's greatest fan, was concerned. She always worked late, being a bit of a night owl, and virtually single handed set out the breakfast food which also meant that she was available for any of the resident insomniacs in the city who would frequently 'drop in' on the off chance that there might be some leftovers. In the old days, before he married, John was a regular visitor and she really missed his charming company. She couldn't quite put her finger on what was worrying her, everything seemed in place, and yet she had the distinct feeling that something had been moved. Carefully laid out on a 'special' tray was Colonel Sheppard's breakfast of oatmeal and fruit, and woe betide anyone who touched it. Even though she had finally admitted to herself that she would be now permanently reduced to gazing from afar, she swore that she would look after him until her dying day. I mean, he plain didn't eat enough, all too apparent in his skinny frame, and it was her mission to feed him up. She looked around the kitchens again, still frowning with the sense of something awry, finally turning off the lights and shutting the door behind her.

What she didn't see was the shadow that ducked behind the cupboards as she left.

***

SGA1 were off world, visiting a small planet on the outer edges of the Galaxy. It was one of those routine missions, information gathering and re-cementing friendly relations. Since the loose federation of planets had formed a couple of years ago, it had proved even more vital for them to maintain a high profile, reminding everyone that they were the friendly face of military protection. The truce with the Genii was holding, but there were always rogue elements fracturing from the edges and Laden's position was tenuous to say the least. Even so, everyone was surprised when the gate dialled early and the urgent request for a medical team came through. Woolsey had yet to get used to this part of his job. He remembered how difficult Colonel Carter had said it was, watching and waiting for the teams to return, and dreading this very message, uncertain which one of his friends and colleagues was injured. He ran down the steps from the balcony and anxiously waited as the team returned, shocked and surprised to see his Military Commander being carried in Ronon's arms. As he got closer, he noticed that the Colonel's skin was pallid and shiny with perspiration.

'What happened, Doctor?' he asked Mckay, whose mouth had set into the tight slit of concern that he reserved when those he cared about were in danger.

'I'm not sure. One minute he was fine, snarking about how slow I was walking, and the next he keeled over clutching his stomach, throwing up most of its contents. I mean, it must have been bad because he was complaining about the pain. Then, he just passed out and he's been like this ever since.' The worry was evident in Rodney's eyes. Of all the people on the base, John was his closest friend who kept him grounded with both his witty put downs and his devout loyalty.

Keller and her team were working on John, placing him carefully on the stretcher. Then all hell broke loose.

'He's stopped breathing. We have to get him to the infirmary now,' shouted Jennifer as she tried to get his heart going again. 'Come on, Colonel, don't do this to me.' The medical team rushed him from the gate room, followed by John's three closest friends and colleagues.

The call came through while Cat was working at her desk. 'Doctor Sheppard. Please come to the Infirmary immediately. It's Colonel Sheppard.' Every time he went off world, she dreaded hearing this message, and she felt her stomach do a somersault before she managed to pick herself up from the chair and run as fast as she could along the corridors. She had no idea what was wrong or what had happened, but knew it had to be serious. She hurtled into the ward, running straight into Ronon's large bulk.

'What's happened? Where's John?' she stammered.

'He's with Keller now,' replied Ronon, as calmly as he could, but she could hear the concern in his voice.

'What do you mean? How is he?' Cat could feel her self-control waver as tears of worry and fear began to fight their way to the surface.

Ronon explained what had happened on the planet, and how John had stopped breathing in the gate room. They knew nothing more; just that Keller was with him and had been for the last ten minutes. The world seemed to still uncannily, her body numb from shock and tension, Ronon holding her gently in his arms. She could feel her legs shaking, but they felt like someone else's and she heard a sob which she thought must have been hers. How long they waited, she couldn't have said, but finally Jennifer was walking towards her, a concerned look on her face.

'Well, he's critical but stable,' she said. 'His heart stopped for several minutes and his breathing is being assisted by a ventilator, but he is alive.' She looked sympathetically at Cat. 'We don't know what caused him to crash, or brought on the violent stomach cramps and vomiting and I have taken several blood tests, but his symptoms are typical of some kind of poisoning. We'll know more after the test results and then we can begin to treat him. Until then, the best I can do is keep him comfortable and maintain round the clock obs. You can come in and see him if you want.'

Ronon guided Cat to the bed. She could hardly bear to look at the lifeless form that should be John. He was so still, flat out on the bed with a small sheet covering his middle. His skin was a deathly pale but with livid blotches showing just beneath the surface, and his body was covered in a fine film of perspiration; even in a comatose state, he was visibly shaking with tiny vibrations across his body. The ventilator forced air into his lungs giving his chest an unnatural shape as it filled them. She pushed Ronon back, sitting on the chair next to the bed, and put her hands on her husband's strong arm, stroking him with gentle movements and then she rested her head on her hands. This could not be happening. She didn't understand. The monitors bleeped to the rhythm of his heart beat, giving her some comfort. Ronon, Teyla and Rodney withdrew only to the edge of the curtains and looked on helplessly as their friend and team leader struggled for his life.

TBC

_Please R & R. Constructive criticism always welcome. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to all my lovely reviewers. Here we go - John in jeopardy. The symptoms of the poison are accurate medically._

The infirmary was lit with the eerie blue light that is reserved for night time, as Cat watched her husband fight for his life. Although comatose, he would occasionally twitch and his face would grimace with pain. It tore her heart out to see him suffering so much, but he couldn't take any pain relief until they knew what was poisoning him. In those periods of activity, the alarm on the heart monitor would go off and the nursing staff would swarm around his bed, desperately trying to keep him alive. What everyone knew was that John Sheppard would fight for his life and never give up but the night was punctuated by moments of sheer panic when it looked as though they might lose him. Throughout it all, Cat sat by his side, gently stroking his arm and murmuring encouraging words, telling him how much she loved him. Rodney, Ronon and Teyla were all gathered around his bed, Mckay hovering between exhausted sleep and manic activity. Occasionally, Teyla would approach the bed, put her arm around Cat's shoulders and gently speak to John, whispering encouragement. Ronon was stoically silent, still as a pike rod, anger and worry written all over his features.

He had just gone through one of his twitchy episodes, when things became much worse, very suddenly. The monitors went mad, as his convulsed violently on the bed, frothy blood erupted from his mouth and then he flat-lined, the shaking suddenly stopping to be replaced by a frightening stillness. The nursing team were by the bed in seconds, and Cat was gently but forcibly pulled away by strong hands, which turned out to be Ronon's. All she could see as she left, unable to take her eyes away from his bed, was the medical team desperately trying to resuscitate him, and then she was in the waiting room, shuddering in Ronon's arms. Rodney and Teyla were standing by the door to the infirmary, now closed and John's bed out of sight. The team were deadly silent, unable to take in the horror of what they had just witnessed, and numbly awaited news.

It could have been ten minutes, it could have been an hour, before Jennifer Keller came into the waiting room and four anxious faces looked to her for re-assurance that the man who was so important to them all was still alive. 'We got him back,' she said, 'but that was a close-call. He bit his tongue while he was convulsing and that's where all the blood came from and he is as stable as we can make him until we know what's happening.' She looked at Cat, comforting her with a soft touch on her arm, and said, 'He's alive, Cat, that's all that matters for now. We should know more in the morning. You really need to get some rest.'

'No, I need to be here.' She couldn't let herself voice her thoughts, '_In case this is the last time I can be with him.' _She knew that John would have remained positive with his team if one of them were hurt, never a man willing to accept the possibility of defeat: that was what had kept him alive all these years. In private, he might admit to fighting so hard for fear of facing his own death, but he would never let his friends and colleagues see it. He needed to fight hard now, harder than ever before, if he were to get through this, and she needed to be with him to give him encouragement, believing that he must be aware of her presence. Several times in the night, his heart beat had slowed when she spoke quietly to him and caressed his arm. No, there was no way she was leaving his side.

Cat had no idea how much time had passed before Jennifer arrived with the results. John had been poisoned by strychnine, which explained his convulsions and the way he had stopped breathing. 'Of all the poisons, this causes the most pain and causes the breathing tracts to dilate. There is no specific cure, but the longer he fights, the more chance he has to survive. I can give him a muscle relaxant and an anticonvulsant, which should make him easier, but the rest is down to Colonel Sheppard's stubbornness and time. We can begin to relax once 24 hours is up. Most patients recover if they survive for the first day.'

'I don't understand. How could he have taken the poison? Could it have been accidental?' They all knew this was a stupid question, but Rodney had asked what they were all thinking. Deliberate poisoning meant that a killer was on the loose in the city.

Jennifer paused. 'In my opinion, it had to be deliberate. Strychnine is easily ingested, and was probably in his food or drink. There is any number of ways it could have been brought into the city: common rat poison contains it for example. What we need to do is try to trace back what the Colonel ate and drank today. It is possible that it could have happened on the planet, although I think that unlikely.'

Her listeners paused to take in what she had said. The first thing Cat had done was check out her watch. Twenty four hours meant about two that afternoon and she knew she would be clock watching until that point, though it at least gave her something to focus upon. Rodney, Teyla and Ronon exchanged glances. Normally John would head up the investigation, but the task would now fall to Lorne. They knew that he would be anxiously waiting for news of his CO, as would much of the city.

It was Teyla who took charge of the situation, Ronon too angry and Rodney too visibly shaken. She tapped on her earpiece. 'Mr Woolsey. Please can we meet you in your office? We have some important news about Colonel Sheppard, and it would be a good idea if Major Lorne were there too. Also, it is vital that there is some armed protection down here.' She paused as Woolsey began to question why this was needed.' Can we discuss this off radio? '

To give him his due, Richard Woolsey trusted the people under his command, especially the members of the premier team, and he ordered two marines to the infirmary immediately. By the time the worried group were heading off to meet him, they were already in place. However, Teyla secretly thought that, with Cat by his side, there wasn't a chance of anyone getting near to her husband. Lorne was already in Woolsey's office when the team arrived, having been apprised of the situation. The look on his face matched the feelings of the rest of the team: anger, upset and determination written all over his features. None of them could imagine why anyone on Atlantis would want to murder John: he was so much respected and admired by everybody and most would do anything for him.

'We need to trace what and where he ate yesterday.' Lorne was saying to Woolsey as the team entered the room. 'It shouldn't be too difficult. I mean The Colonel doesn't exactly eat very much, unlike some I could mention.' He aimed an ironic look at Mckay, who snorted back derisively. 'I'm assuming that he had his usual 'Maria Johnson' special this morning in the canteen. She is going to be devastated if it turns out to be her food that was tampered with.' They all knew about the Chief's little 'crush' on John, but none of them would have dreamed of teasing her about it, because in truth it was more of a full-blown one-sided love affair, and they respected her too much.

Lorne was right. Chief Johnson was distraught. As usual, her beloved man had not eaten enough that day, and her breakfast was all he had consumed, except maybe for the water from the bottle he took with him for his run. He hadn't even had a power bar on the planet; confirmed by Rodney who admitted to wheedling it out of his friend, not an uncommon event in their many off-world experiences. He even remembered grumbling about the flavour: he hated apricot which was a step too close to citrus for his liking. Thankfully, the water bottle had been left John's running kit in his quarters, and it tested negative.

Maria Johnson recalled the strange feeling she had a couple of nights previously; nothing she could put her finger on, just a sense of someone in the shadows and of something being moved. She had no evidence, she had said, but she was certain something wasn't right. It was fairly evident that John's breakfast had been poisoned and Maria was as upset as they had feared. She vowed to personally serve him all this breakfasts from now on, not allowing the tray from her sight and the big woman was in so much distress at the thought of what her loved one was going through, blaming herself for it, that she had to be taken back to her quarters by Teyla and sedated. In the meantime, Lorne needed to try to find out who would have reason to kill his CO. His first task would be to question all the section heads about their staff and find out if there was anyone bearing the kind of grudge that would make them a killer. Doctor Harrison, the new Psychiatrist, also suggested that they look for someone with a history of mental illness, especially someone with an obsessive compulsive personality. She began to investigate her records while Lorne and his team undertook the interviews and Rodney attempted to find a way to unblock Atlantis' security files. They had all been amazed, when they first arrived in the city, to discover no obvious system of security cameras or other observational equipment. The Ancients had the life-signs detector but clearly trusted each other enough not to need to spy on their actions.

Ronon was with Rodney in the Science labs. Not obvious candidates for friends, they had developed a strong bond and Ronon trusted nobody as much as McKay with ingenious ways to 'save the day'. In any case, what he really wanted to be doing was beating the crap out of whoever did this to John, and he needed to keep himself occupied. Listening to Rodney's incessant chatter was as good a distraction as anything and at least he felt that they were doing something.

'Okay, I think I have something. I've adjusted the city's life-signs detector to give us a historical view of movement around the base in the last 48 hours. It's not easy to isolate a time-frame, so I'll have to guesstimate a bit, and we won't necessarily know who we are watching, but if we can trace comings and goings we might be able to make some logical assumptions, if that isn't a paradox, and come up with some possible suspects. It'll take a little time.' At that, Rodney stopped talking, entirely focussed on the task, a rare occurrence and something he only did when he was really concentrating and Ronon left him to do what Rodney does best: that is, find ever more ingenious ways to save the day.

***

The infirmary was quiet. John was the only patient and the guards on the door stopped any other visitors, especially Doctor Keller's regular resident hypochondriacs who would often drop by for their dose of paracetemol or the odd sleeping tablet. Over the last hour, John seemed calmer and Cat was sure that his colour was improving; he also grimaced less in his sleep. It was just gone midday when she heard gentle footfall behind her and jumping, turned round to see Andrew Alexander standing behind her.

'Oh, you made me jump, Andrew! Doctor Keller is in her office at the moment if you want her.' She turned back to the bed, expecting the young man to leave. For a moment, she was puzzled to find him there, but dismissed her concerns when she realised that he was a member of the medical team and as much right to be there as her.

'No, I heard about the Colonel and came to see if you were okay and if there is anything I can do. How is he?' She thought she glimpsed a strange expression flash through the bright blue eyes, but it was gone before she could try to read what it mean t.

'He's doing alright. We've about another two hours before we can begin to relax, but Jennifer thinks he should be okay. Thanks for asking.' Cat turned all her attention back to her husband. Suddenly, she had the strangest feeling, as though the young nurse were about to say or do something else; the sensation of a body closing in on her personal space, but as soon as she turned round again, he was on his way out of the room. Shrugging her shoulders, suspecting that she was over-tired and over-sensitive, she focussed her attention entirely on the man in the bed again, willing him to open his eyes.

A slight flicker of a dark eye-lash was the first sign that her husband was coming back to her. She almost missed it at first, but the second flutter showed a rather blood-shot and dazed hazel eye, and at the third his eyes flew open in panic and fear, looking around the room in a kind of manic daze. At least this time there was no ventilator tube, but he tried to pull off the oxygen mask and the various tubes and wires that were attached to his arm and chest. Cat leant forward and took his heart-shaped chin in her hands, trying to make eye-contact and with a calming voice said, 'It's alright, my love, you're in the infirmary but you are okay. Take some deep breaths into the mask and when Jennifer gets here she can let you know when you can take it off.'

She could see the effort it took him to calm down and focus on her, then he quietly nodded his head and put his hand on hers, seeing for the first time the tears of joy that she was shedding for him. It was so typical of John to comfort those around him, rather than worry for himself. Within seconds, the nursing team and Jennifer were at his bedside, checking his readings and soothing him with comforting words, but all the time he kept his eyes on Cat. When Jennifer explained what had happened, his eyes widened with surprise and shock, and he tried to speak, grimacing with discomfort when the words would not come out.

'Stay calm, Colonel,' she said. 'I'll give you some ice-chips. You're bound to have a sore throat and mouth for a while. Apart from dehydration, you bit your tongue quite hard when you had one of your convulsions and it will be a little painful for a bit.' Jennifer gave him some cooling ice and he began to quieten, then she nodded smilingly at Cat, leaving her to fill him on all the details of the last 24 hours. Jennifer's first task was to radio John's team, Woolsey and Lorne, and of course Chief Maria Johnson, all desperate for news and she didn't suppose the infirmary would be so peaceful for long. The city had been on hold for the last day, every member (or at least every member but one thought Keller ruefully) finding it incredibly difficult to go about their normal routines knowing that their respected Military Commander was at death's door.

For a while John drifted in and out of sleep and, for the first time in a few hours, Cat was able to sleep too, albeit on the bed next to him. At various points, Teyla, Rodney and Ronon came to visit, keeping Cat informed of the progress they were making. Yes, said Rodney, he had managed to trace at least five life-signs in the kitchens that night at about the right time. It seemed that there was more than one secret midnight binger and Chief Johnson wasn't at all happy about it either. It was one thing asking her for the food she always had out for the midnight munchers, as she called them, it was quite another to steel from under her nose. Lorne was busy trying to trace who the illicit visitors were, by following back their footsteps and they had at least three likely candidates. One turned out to be Rodney himself and he rather awkwardly had to apologise to Chief Johnson and promise 'never ever ever' to do it again. That left one unidentified person, and Rodney had only stayed for the briefest time, to concentrate on the investigation.

Finally, after about three hours, Cat was alone with John again. He was looking a lot better and even managed to raise one of his brilliant smiles, even if it was a little weak. She marvelled at how, even in this condition, he could still remain so handsome and how the nurses fluttered around him, competing for who would take the next shift. She was so exhausted that, though sitting upright, her head kept lolling forward and finally she felt a little tap on her hand and jumped awake to see a much clearer pair of hazel eyes looking up at her.

'Go and get some sleep, my angel,' he said. 'I'm not going anywhere and I need you fit and rested for when I am up and about!' At this he winked and pulled her forward for a luxurious kiss, one which she had feared not to feel again, his lips warm and soft against hers. The promise in his mouth and his eyes was quite clear, and she nodded blearily, kissed him on his forehead and left the infirmary for a more comfortable sleep, probably dreaming of the next night or two, when she would be able to have him in her bed again.

The corridor was quiet, unusually so, even for late evening. Unnervingly, Cat could hear her own footfall echoing off the walls of the city, although once she thought she heard the slight scrape of another shoe behind her, but when she glanced round there was nothing there. Atlantis was not a place of threat or danger normally, so she was not expecting the violence of a strong arm around her neck, so powerful that he began to lose consciousness, struggling for breath. She tried to fight her unseen attacker, but he or she had caught her by surprise and in less than a minute she felt her knees buckle beneath her.

In his lab, Rodney was working over the life-signs trace. The fourth person had been bothering him: there was something about the movements that didn't quite make sense. Then, he got it. 'Major Lorne. I know who we're looking for, but I don't know why.'

TBC

_Please R and R. You know you want too!!!! Who is the attacker?_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks for the lovely reviews. Well, here's the big reveal. Some of you have guessed some of it._

'I know who went into the kitchens,' Mckay was saying to Lorne. 'I'm fairly certain it was the new Nursery Nurse, Andrew Alexander. I've traced his movements back from the kitchen to his rooms and the nursery and also forwards to when he visited the infirmary this afternoon.'

'Well that ties in with something that Doctor Harrison has just told me. Apparently, Nurse Alexander has a history of mental illness. He tried to commit suicide when he was sixteen, and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder or manic depression as some people call it. I'm amazed that he was passed for duty out here at all, but I guess everyone has the right to a second chance. The Doctor is having his file sent through as we speak, so we should know more then.' Lorne broke off his conversation briefly with Rodney. 'Okay, I've sent out some of my men to detain him and the marines on guard at the infirmary are under strict instructions not to let him in again. We'll get him soon.' Rodney seriously hoped so, and then the questions would begin. What exactly did the young nurse have against the Colonel? All he could think was that it was jealousy. Cat had spent quite a lot of time with him, helping look after the young children, to the point that even John had begun to feel insecure of her feelings, so maybe it was revenge of the unrequited lover pure and simple? He needed to talk to Teyla and Ronon. They must decide how much John needed to know right now and if they had the young man under lock and key it could probably be left for a while.

***

It was dark. No, possibly not dark: there was something over her eyes and her mouth. She was sitting up, her arms tied behind her back and, yes, her legs were tied at the ankles. Someone was moving around and muttering to themselves. A male voice? Probably, she decided. She could feel a breeze: no it was more like cold air, outside air. Faced with the choice of keeping quiet and drawing attention to the fact that she was conscious, she could see no way round the need to show that she was awake, needing some action from her captor that might reveal where she was and eventually why. Of one thing she was certain: this was John's attacker and he was therefore very dangerous. If it was John he was after, then she could be used as a weapon against him. If it was her, then she needed to know what she was up against. As noisily as she could, she moved her hands and her feet, making a grumbling noise through the gag and the muttering stopped, footsteps coming towards her. Her blindfold was roughly taken off and Cat drew in a muffled gasp. Her surprise must have shown in her eyes because the young man smirked an unnerving smile, and then stood back to look at his prize.

'Well, I suppose you're wondering what you're doing here and I think I might just tell you, since I intend to kill you anyway.' The look in his pale blue eyes was one of pure madness and Cat began to truly realise her predicament. 'Do you not recognise me? 'She shook her head. 'No, why should you. After all, you abandoned me: you didn't want me. Understand now?' He must have recognised a growing understanding in her expression. 'Yes, mummy dearest. Here I stand, your long lost son. I've waited many years for this moment. You know, when I found out you had emigrated to America, I had no idea how lucky I could be. I didn't know you were part of the Stargate program, let alone out here in Atlantis, until I arrived and saw you standing on the pier. Even then, I couldn't be sure, until I looked more closely at this.' He took out a crumpled photograph from his pocket and showed her the image of a rather pretty, if very young, teenage version of herself. 'There is a certain family likeness, don't you think?' He must have seen the effect he was having on her: the combined look of fear and tenderness that had crept into her blue eyes, almost the match of his in colour. 'Oh yes, I thought at first killing your charming colonel might be enough revenge, but you were all too quick to work out what I had poisoned him with. That was a clever one, don't you think? The nursery took a little bit of clearing out and was somewhat infested with a Pegasus version of house mice. Some rat poison did the trick very nicely and that's when I realised what I could do with it. It wasn't difficult: Chief Johnson saw me as a needy young man who needed a bit of feeding up and I watched her preparing your husband's breakfast on several occasions. Still, I should imagine that he suffered quite a lot of pain, didn't he? I'll have to be happy with that and in any case I now have you.'

Cat looked around her for the first time. She was out on the East Pier (that was ironic given her history with John here) leaning up against a side wall. She could hear and see the ocean, waves crashing against the edge of the pier. It was not a pleasant Atlantis night and there was clearly a storm brewing in the distance. On any other night, she might have revelled in the way the orange and purple light reflected off the water and onto the city's lower levels, casting magnificent shadows back across the sea, but tonight it only signified danger.

'Now, you might think that I would want a lovely family reunion with my darling mother, wouldn't you, but all I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember is kill you for what you did to me. I hated my so-called parents and they certainly didn't love me. That's why I left as soon as I could. I found your photograph in among some old documents, along with the adoption papers, and traced you through your marriage and divorce. Your ex-husband was perfectly happy to tell me where you had gone. I had the distinct impression that he doesn't like you very much either.' While he was speaking, he began to drag her towards the edge of the pier, pulling her closer and closer to the raging waters. 'Oh yes, I don't suppose you'll be able to swim very well with your hands tied, do you? And the best is, nobody will every work out where you've gone. Your delightful husband will be broken hearted at your disappearance and he'll have no reason to suspect me.'

He didn't look so strong and she tried everything she could to keep from going over the edge, but inexorably she was being pushed and tugged ever closer so that she could feel the biting spray on her face. Suddenly, her centre of gravity gave out and she toppled over into the icy water. Unable to swim or move her legs, she was rapidly sucked under the surface and her last sight was of the shimmering surface receding above her head as she sank into the water's depths.

***

It was Teyla who offered to fetch Cat. Lorne hadn't been able to locate Andrew Alexander and they knew that there was a chance that Cat was in danger, although they couldn't have known why. They had given her a little time to rest, knowing how exhausted she would be after her vigil at John's side, but she needed to know what was going on and why she had two marines outside her door. When Teyla couldn't get a reply, she immediately radioed through for Rodney to work his charms on the door and, when they found the bed unslept in, they began to panic. It didn't take long to realise that Cat was nowhere inside the city.

'I'll go to John and tell him what has happened,' Teyla offered. 'He needs to know.'

Rodney stood in stunned silence in Richard Woolsey's office. Lorne had as many men as he could muster searching the city for both Cat and Alexander, but they'd found nothing. Ronon was also out with the teams, unable to sit still and wait, needing to do something. Along with the others, he loved Cat in her own right, as well as needing to find her for his friend. None of them could imagine how John would cope if anything happened to her. Once a loner, she had given a meaning to his life and filled a void which he hadn't realised he had and their lives were now so intertwined that neither could be whole without the other.

Teyla's task was the least pleasant. John was still weak from the poison and she knew that he would want to be up and with the search the minute he heard the news. She had told him all she knew and had to watch the desperation etch itself on his handsome features. Within minutes he was up and dressed, and even Jennifer Keller didn't try to stop him. Still woozy from the poison, it took him several minutes to gain his bearings, then he had a sudden thought.

'Chuck. Have you checked in the water? Remember Ford?'

Up in the control room, this time Chuck did not argue the point with the Colonel and broadened his scan to the waters around the city. There, in the water, was a faint life sign. 'I think I've found her, sir. In the sea, just off the end of the East Pier, but the life sign is faint. You'll need to be quick.'

John found a renewed strength, adrenalin coursing through him. 'Ronon take a team to the East Pier immediately and any engineers join him quickly with as much equipment as you can gather. Lorne, we still need to look for that bastard. Make sure you have at least two teams searching for him and when they find him, I want him in the cells immediately. Leave him to me.' The tone in his CO's voice left Evan Lorne in no doubt what would be coming to the nurse, if they were unable to save Cat.

***

They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you're drowning, and for Cat that was certainly true. Well, certainly her life with John. The good times, the bad times, the extra-ordinary love-making, the feel of his hands on her body, the feel of his body on her hands, all this and more went through her head as she sank into the sea. It was almost comfortable. She knew she couldn't swim and she knew she was dying and there was something calming in that acceptance. She was vaguely aware of a noise above her and thought she might have felt strong arms around her shoulders, but knew that it was a hallucination brought on by lack of oxygen. Finally, she felt unconsciousness almost gently ease itself into every cell of her body as she gave up the fight and let the darkness cover her like a blanket.

Coming around was at first much less comfortable. She was aware of a searing pain in her chest, followed by a violent chest wobbling cough as the water spewed from her lungs. She half expected the eyes looking into hers to be a piercing blue, convinced at the last that her son must have rethought his murderous intentions. How much better were the hazel eyes, looking at her with such love and concern? She knew that she could die happy looking into those expressive eyes, and when she finally focussed on the rest of the face, she took a moment to take in its beauty. Strong arms lifted her onto a gurney and she was rushed to the infirmary, John by her side, vaguely aware of a very wet and dripping Ronon at the other. Several times she heard John say 'I love you', and she tried to say the words back but nothing came out of her mouth. Most importantly, she knew she was alright and eventually, drug-induced although she didn't know it, she fell into a restful sleep.

Several times in the night, Cat stirred slightly and was aware of the sleeping form of her husband on the bed next to her, giving her great comfort, and it wasn't until early morning that the memories of what had happened began to encroach on her consciousness, initially as nightmares before coalescing into reality. Only then did the significance of the previous night sink in. She had found her son, he had tried to kill her and John knew nothing about him or her history; all this at a time when the topic of having a baby was so sensitive between them. How would he react to the news?

When she opened her eyes properly, John was propped up in the bed next to her, i-pod leads in his ears, probably listening to Johnny Cash she thought. She smiled at the slightly childish set of his mouth, and at the hair, which was even wilder than usual, little grey flecks just noticeable along his hair line and on his unshaved chin. The contrast of youthfulness and these little signs of aging was more of the conundrum that made up John Sheppard and what made him impossible to age if you didn't know him and she loved it. She knew that the grey had begun to pepper the darker hair that disappeared beneath his hospital scrubs and carried on downwards, past his still firm and youthful abdomen. She doubted whether a part of him would ever really grow up and yet he was all the man she could have ever wanted.

He turned to her, feeling her eyes on him, and smiled one of his 'special' smiles: the one that always made her knees turn to jelly and her heart pound like a silly schoolgirl. 'How are you this morning? I would come over and give you a hug, but I'm under strict instructions to stay where I am. If I'm a good boy, I'll be let out today and there are things I need to do.' His smile stayed, but the eyes shut it out and she knew from experience that this was his 'I am reassuring you by being cheery but there's bad stuff I have to deal with but I'm not going to worry you about' face. Cat smiled a bleary good morning and drifted back to sleep.

The next time she woke up, John's bed was empty and Jennifer Keller was fussing over the medicine cabinet. 'Um, hello Doctor,' she whispered, the voice a little quieter than she expected. 'Where's John?

'He's alright, considering what you've both been through. Good news! Lorne found that damn nurse holed out in a disused lab in the depths of Atlantis. Apparently he has quite a strong ATA gene and was able to open the doors without much difficulty. In fact, his gene is almost as strong as yours and the Colonel's. That's where Colonel Sheppard is, by the way. They're questioning the nurse now. Everyone is very puzzled about why he did what he did.'

Cat's heart sank. She had no idea how John would behave at the news that she was already a parent, or that she had kept such a big secret from him. In the circumstances she did what she often did: closed her eyes and tried to think nice thoughts, as ever of John.

***

Andrew Alexander stood defiantly in the cell, surrounded by the shimmering Ancient force-shield. He really hadn't expected to be caught and it was an inconvenience, but what he knew above all else was that there was still a revenge card to play. He had been successful so far. While the man glowering at him from the other side of the field was still alive, his mother was dead, drowned in the deep ocean which was a fitting tribute to the way she had left him, drowning without the maternal love that he so richly deserved. The blue eyes glimmered coldly as he made eye-contact with the other man.

'Hello Colonel. I'm surprised to see you up and looking so well.'

John Sheppard looked back at the strange young man, trying to restrain himself from bursting into the cell and beating him senseless. He could forgive the attempt on his own life, but not for what he had tried to do to Cat. Apart from the fact that it would probably ruin his career, a lesser consideration, he wanted to find out why he had tried to kill her. After all, this was the very cell where they had kept Steve and he'd no problem killing that devilish creature back then when Atlantis was in peril. How would this be any different? These warring emotions were the single reason why he had yet to utter a word, but eventually he gained some command on himself, enough at least to keep his voice steady.

'So, do you admit to attempting to poison me and to attempting to drown my wife?' The hard fought for words came out like bullets.

The expression on the young man's face turned from self-satisfied smugness to anger. 'What do you mean attempting? I pushed her into the water. Nobody could have survived that. You are lying!' The last three words erupted with a manic violence that almost made John step back. There was no doubting the insanity behind the eyes.

'That's right. We rescued her. You failed. But, what I don't understand is why you wanted to harm her. What have we ever done to you to deserve that?'

This was his moment. So she wasn't dead. It didn't matter. He would see his mother's marriage crumple in front of him and he stepped forward to the very edge of the cell, with a triumphant look in his eyes. 'Didn't she tell you? Oh, no of course she didn't. She would be too ashamed of her actions.' Very steadily he continued, rewarded by John's expression. 'I am her son. She gave birth to me when she was a teenager but she abandoned me. All these years, I've been waiting for the moment to take my revenge and here it is. You didn't know did you? Well, just imagine if she could do this to her own son, can you trust what she tells you? And what reasons has she given you for not wanting _your _children, eh?'

John tried to keep his expression neutral, knowing that he had given away too much already. All the hidden emotion of the last few months, the visit to Danthos, the Ancient device, the unspoken between them, threatened to surface. How long had she known that this was her son? How long had she lied to him? He tried in vain not to feel like a petulant teenager, but he was deeply hurt by the lack of trust she had shown in him and he felt that all the scaffolding that held their marriage together was crumbling. All this he attempted to hide beneath his usual veneer. 'You have admitted to attempted murder on both myself and Doctor Sheppard,' he said through gritted teeth. 'You will be shipped back to Earth at the earliest opportunity and it's up to you what the authorities decide to do with you. Be grateful that it's not my decision. My guess is that they'll lock you away safely where you can do no more harm to anyone.' And he turned his back decisively on the smirking nurse.

'It's ruined isn't it? It'll never be the same again. I won, didn't I,' he heard Alexander shouting as he left the room. And, as much as John wanted to turn round and shout back, 'no it isn't, everything's fine' he wasn't sure that he could believe it.

TBC

_A.N. See, I told you the story would make sense, didn't I? The Danthos incident introduced the 'having children' theme which became more and more relevant to Cat's story. It's not over yet, though! Please R & R. You know how much I appreciate it._


	6. Chapter 6

_Thank you again for the lovely reviews. As always, I listen to you. Here's a New Year's present to you all._

Cat jumped so violently in her sleep that she fell out of the narrow hospital bed, landing with an uncomfortable thud on the floor. Within minutes, Jennifer Keller and Nurse Burns were at her side, clucking around her and helping her back. 'I'm so sorry, Doctor. I...I don't know what happened. I was having a nigh...um dream and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I'm okay really: just bruised pride.'

'Well, you'll excuse me if I check you over anyway, won't you?' Jennifer replied, while feeling along her limbs and flashing a light in her eyes. 'Well, you look okay. Nurse, could you leave us for a minute please?'

'What? What?' said Cat in annoyance. She knew what was coming and she really didn't want to talk about it.

Jennifer was insistent. 'You will have to talk to him sometime. He needs to know.'

'Yes, I know. But first he has to come and see me, and you may have noticed that he's not exactly been around much today.' It was true. Normally, when she was ill or hurt, he would be with her as much as possible. Today had been different, but then she was certain that today he had found out that she was a liar and a fraud. She imagined what she might do if she found out he was a father and hadn't told her and she knew that she would be very hurt for a while, but would forgive him eventually. John was a different matter. It had taken a lot for him to fall in love with her and to trust her enough to let her get close to him, years of hurt from a failed family life and a disastrous marriage having taken their toll. She doubted whether things could ever be the same between them again.

'Well, I think you are well enough to escape from here, don't you?' Jennifer was persisting. 'Shall I call the Colonel and ask him to come and get you?'

'You can try, but I doubt if he'll come. He'll probably send someone else. ' Ignoring Jennifer's surprised expression she continued in a rather forced and cheery voice, 'Bet you it's Teyla!'

Jennifer disappeared into her office, tactfully withdrawing as she tried to contact John, leaving Cat to contemplate the last few hours and her future. She had so carefully parcelled away her memory of 'David', now Andrew that she had never once suspected who he was, even though now the evidence was clear for her to see. She understood why she was so drawn to him and the maternal feelings that he had dragged so unexpectedly from her, not for him though but for the young ones in his care. She saw her likeness in his hair and eyes and the sharpness of features that was so typical of the tutor she so foolishly allowed to seduce her so many years ago. That a son should want to kill his mother so violently shocked her to the core, and yet it felt strangely impersonal and separate, as though she had no real connection to him and that worried her more than anything. She knew everyone supposed her to be in deep shock, the sympathetic looks of the nurses only confirming it, but she just wasn't. Maybe she was right after all: motherhood was not for her. The tears that were falling when Jennifer came back were not, as the Doctor supposed, for the loss of a son, but for the loss of a husband. No-one in her life had ever meant as much to her as John, nor would anyone again and she was grieving for what she was absolutely certain would never be.

Jennifer's sympathetic expression told her everything. 'Colonel Sheppard is a little tied up right now, but he has asked Teyla to collect you and see you back to your quarters. She'll bring you some clothes as well.' What Jennifer didn't add was John 's words: 'Teyla will know better than me what she will want to wear.' Such innocent words, but the doctor knew that, in the past, he would always have been the first by his wife's side with well-chosen clothes and a comforting arm and she didn't want to upset her friend further.

It took Teyla about an hour to arrive and in that time Cat had resolved on one last action before she considered her future. It would take a little doing: she knew how much her good, no her best female friend, would want to be with her and help her through the next few hours, but she would need to find a way to get rid of her. In the end, she feigned extreme tiredness, staggering a little more on the way back to her quarters than she needed, and begged some time to rest in peace and quiet. She hated lying to Teyla, but this was important and she was quite determined; Teyla, after some persuading, finally left her to supposedly sleep. Even now, she made a bet with herself. If by any chance John came to their quarters, took her in his arms and told her he was fine and everything would be alright, then she wouldn't go through with her plan. He would stroke her hair and she would look into his beautiful hazel eyes, filled with forgiveness, and they would live happily ever after. She would give him five hours. By then, Atlantis would be settling into a quieter evening ritual and the corridors would be less frenetic, making her task much easier.

She couldn't sleep. The clock ticked by more slowly than she thought possible and a couple of times she imagined a noise outside the door as of someone about to enter. Each time her hopes were dashed and by nine o'clock the hours were up. It was a dry-eyed and strangely calm Cat who walked along the corridors that evening, jumping into the shadows to avoid unnecessary curiosity. In her daze, she failed to notice the sights and sounds of the city and how Atlantis was almost 'put-out' by one of her favourite children's casual attitude to her beauty, the lights coming on a little more sluggishly for Cat than their usual eager sparkiness. The cells were deep in the bowels of the city and the one she was looking for was well-guarded, but by a young marine who she knew very well. She needed to use all her charm if she were to get past him.

'Hi Jake, how are you?' she asked the soldier, with as charming a smile as she could muster. She knew him to be quite besotted with her and he often followed her with endearing puppy dog eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. John often joked with her about the effect she had on some of his soldiers, teasing her that if they wouldn't follow his orders, he'd just send her along to flutter her eyelids at them.

He blushed uncontrollably. 'I'm fine m'am. What can I do for you?'

'Well, you see, I would very much like to see my son, the prisoner, before he is shipped off to Earth.' Seeing him about to object she added, 'Colonel Sheppard thinks it would be a good idea, you know for both my son and I, to say our farewells, and you can stand right by the entrance ready to defend me with those big strong arms of yours if I need help.' She batted her eyelashes and gently placed her hand on his arm.

After a few more stuttered words of objection, he gave in, but only on the proviso that he contact Colonel Sheppard once she was in the cell, just to make sure that it was alright. She reluctantly agreed. After all, she could do what she needed to do in the time it would take John to get down here. She hated the thought that she might have got the sweet young man into trouble and hoped that he would be understanding.

Andrew was standing bolt upright in the cell, blue eyes coldly watching her, met by the equally hardened and determined eyes of his mother. She took a deep breath as the force shield was opened and stepped into the cell, with one last re-assuring smile at the marine.

'Well, David,' she very deliberately used the name she had given him, 'as you can see, I'm quite well despite all your best endeavours. I wanted to come and say goodbye and to let you know that I forgive you.'

For a moment he said nothing, then in an emotionless voice he replied, 'My name is Andrew and as far as I am concerned you are not my mother. I am sorry that you are not dead, but I have the great pleasure of knowing that I have ruined your marriage. Your husband now knows what a dried up piece of meat you really are and that you will never bear his children. He knows that you are a liar and not to be trusted. I saw it in his eyes.' At this, he gave out a sinister sneer, then shut his mouth in a tight and unpleasant slit.

Cat heard a shout behind her and knew that she was running out of time. Though she couldn't see who it was, she knew it was John and she had no intention of letting him stop her now. Quickly, she strode towards her son, put both her hands on his arms and raised herself up on her tiptoes so that she could whisper in his ear. What she said to him caused him to recoil back as though repelled by the opposite pole of a magnet, and then she felt herself dragged from the cell by powerful arms. All the time, she kept eye-contact with Andrew, enjoying her small moment of revenge on the man who might have killed them both, but had certainly ruined her life. The force shield snapped shut, but the arms refused to release her and she looked up into the furious face of her husband, white with anger. From behind her she heard Andrew shouting, some incoherent words, but among them she was able to pick out 'It's not true, It's not true. You're a liar,' before he sat down hard on the single bench and put his head in his hands.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' The words were almost spat out in an attempt to maintain some kind of control. 'Why are you here? What was so important that you had to visit him? What did you say to him?'

Cat managed to wriggle free of the hold he had on her and stood upright in the face of his tirade. She had nothing else to lose. 'I wanted to say goodbye to my son. I think I have a right to do that, don't you?'

For a moment, she thought he might hit her, reminded of the look her father used to give her which was always a precursor to some kind of beating, but then he grabbed hold of her arm firmly and started to pull her away from the cell and towards their quarters. It wasn't until they were inside their rooms that he looked at her with such an intense gaze that she thought she might faint from its power, as though he could burn the truth from her. Wordlessly, he propelled her to the bed and forced her to sit down, then paced the room for several minutes, collecting himself. Cat waited for whatever was to come, expecting some kind of request for separation, some suggestion of a need to be apart, some reprimand for her actions, both past and present, but he stayed silent. Eventually, he turned to face her and simply said, 'I can't do this right now,' and turning on his heels left the room. She had no doubt that the door would be firmly locked and guards posted outside and that she was now a prisoner.

'Damn you John Sheppard!' she shouted at the empty room. 'Trust you not to be able to face it! Why do you always walk away?' Suddenly, everything closed in on her, all the pent up emotions spilled out and she cried in a way she had never cried before.

***

John watched from the balcony as the young nurse, no Cat's son although that was difficult to grasp, was led towards the centre of the control room, ready to be beamed on board The Daedelus. There was something in the man's manner that suggested defeat, so far removed from the cocky attitude he had shown the day before and he wondered again what Cat had said to affect him so much.

'Daedelus, this is Sheppard. The cargo is ready to come on board,' he reported to Caldwell, and then the man and his guard were beamed from Atlantis. It was unlikely, John thought, that they would ever see or hear from him again, given the places where the military tended to bury their criminally insane security risks.

With a scowl, he turned from the scene. Until this moment, he had focussed entirely on eradicating the man's presence from the city, as if that alone could be the cure-all for their problems, but there were issues that he now needed to face head on and, God knows, he wasn't very good at that. Quite why he had reacted so violently to the recent revelations he hadn't logically been able to work out, but somehow his relationship with Cat felt violated. He knew that he was being incredibly selfish, knew that she must be going through hell, and knew that he needed to do something to try and make it better, if their marriage were to be saved, but he also knew that he was really crap at emotional scenes and even worse at dealing with his own feelings.

The young marine standing guard at the bottom of the gate room steps couldn't fail to notice how tired his CO looked. Normally, the man held such a youthful air, that none of them had yet to correctly guess his age, but he looked haggard and worn, the lines around his eyes more prominent and his mouth set in a tired grimace which was so different from the usually light and friendly smile. By now, the word had gone round the city that the would -be -murderer and the nurse were one and the same, Doctor Sheppard's long lost son, and the buzz was that Colonel Sheppard and she were not exactly on talking terms. In fact, several people had witnessed the way he had dragged her to her quarters, and some had even suggested that he had hit her, although he doubted that and thought it to be the usual silly city tittle-tattle. In any case, he hoped that they sorted it out soon, because they all knew that, from experience, when the Colonel was in a bad mood, life for the city's military garrison could become very difficult indeed!

***

Jennifer Keller was in something of a quandary. She knew what she ought to do, medical ethics and her doctor's oath both dictated the need for patient confidentiality, but she was also a friend of both the Sheppards and wanted to find a way to bring them together. In the end, she decided to call on another good friend, Teyla; she would know the best course of action. With determination, she headed off to Teyla's rooms, already formulating a possible plan of campaign.

***

At some point in the day, one of the young guards informed her that Andrew Alexander had left the city. Cat sighed a huge sigh of relief. His presence felt like the poison he had tried to kill John with. Still, _he _had not been to see her. She had really convinced herself that he would come once Andrew had left the city, but as the hours ticked by she began to despair. She didn't believe that she had ever suffered so powerful a range of emotions, and at times she thought she might go quite mad. In fact, she had withdrawn into 'their' bed and was comforting herself with the smell of his pillow, hugging it tightly to her chest as though she could somehow hold onto him by doing so. The trouble was that having a suggestion of him so close to her awoke in her all the memories of the exciting, wonderful, erotic, passionate moments they had spent together, leaving her with a strange conflict of the extreme sadness of loss with the deep-felt stirrings that she always felt when such thoughts popped into her mind.

The door buzzed. 'Hello Cat, it's Teyla. Can I come in?'

Cat paused for a moment. After all, she had lied to her best friend and she needed to apologise for that. 'Come in, Teyla.' She took a deep breath, then added as her friend entered the room, 'I'm really sorry I lied to you, Teyla. I had to see Andrew before he left, you see, and...'

Teyla cut her off with a wave of a hand and a kind smile. 'It is forgotten. Do not concern yourself. Now then, I believe that it is time you escaped from this prison. I think the Earth expression is 'I am here to spring you.' Cat couldn't help but smile. Whenever Teyla attempted to use an Earth idiom it always sounded awkward and out of place.

'I'm not certain that I'm even allowed out, am I?' She was genuinely not sure if she were to be considered a prisoner or not.

'The guards will let you pass. I told them that Colonel Sheppard wishes to see you in his office.' At the brightening in Cat's eyes she quickly added, 'but I am sorry to say that I lied about that. I think that it is time you got rid of some of those emotions that are making you appear so tired. It is never correct to bottle-up feelings. I have just the remedy. Put on your exercise clothes. You are coming with me to the gym for a little bit of exercise.'

'I really don't think that it's a good idea right now.' However, Teyla was absolutely insistent and Cat couldn't think of a way out of this one, so finally she reluctantly agreed, with the proviso that, 'I'm still not strong physically so I may have to go easy this time.'

The gym was deserted apart from the two women. Cat was surprised. Normally, Teyla's idea of 'going easy' was her idea of physical abuse, but her friend really did seem to be gentle today. She even began to wonder if Teyla knew her well-kept 'secret', but dismissed it as impossible and even when she saw Jennifer enter the room she wasn't suspicious. Once or twice her two friends shared awkward glances and she could have sworn that Jennifer shrugged her shoulders, but other than that she assumed that it was just their way of trying to help. Indeed, Teyla seemed to be 'letting' her win, and more than once she was able to floor her with very little effort. Why the mood changed, she couldn't work out at first, because all of a sudden Teyla clearly decided that enough was enough and Cat found herself in the more usual position of flat on her back, albeit her fall softened by an exercise mattress.

At that moment she heard Jennifer shout. 'That's enough, Teyla. Cat, this is madness. Do you know what harm you could do to the baby?'

She heard a low gasp behind her and, rising to a sitting position, turned round to see the disappearing form of her husband, gone before she could utter a word to him. Getting to her feet, she stared from Teyla to Jennifer, instantly grasping what had happened. 'Doctor Keller. I am assuming that you told Teyla that I'm pregnant. How could you? I thought that went against all you medical ethics.'

Jennifer shifted uncomfortably. 'I'm so sorry, Cat. I really thought that, if he knew you were expecting his baby, he might just come to his senses.'

'Well, he's clearly not that impressed is he?' Cat didn't know what to feel. He'd walked away from her at the very news that, several weeks ago, should have made him the happiest man alive. Anger surfaced, along with hot tears. 'Thanks for nothing, ladies. I guess I know what to do now.' And, she stormed from the room, back to 'their' quarters.

TBC

_A.N. Well, I had thought to end it here, but it all seemed too sudden, given the heightened emotions being felt by both John and Cat. If you want some TLC for the couple, please R & R and I might just be able to offer up some pickings for the thunkers out there!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks to all my lovely reviewers. Well, here it is! The last chapter. *sobs*_

She packed her small bag as quickly as possible, taking only the bare essentials. Watching John's back leaving the gym, she knew what she had to do. If he were unprepared to accept her, warts and all, then she was leaving. It grieved her to think that the city would no longer be her home, but she felt a cold sort of numbness when she thought about leaving him. When she had most needed him he had let her down, held back by that damn emotional straightjacket that had so badly damaged his personal relationships in the past. Cat would have been totally unprepared to admit that she was doing exactly what he had at the door of the gym, running away rather than facing up. For her, John turning his back on her felt like an act of betrayal and her stubbornness could not allow her to see it any other way.

The jumper bay was fortunately fairly quiet, and the unsuspecting guards failed to see the quiet footed figure that crept into Jumper 3. She had become quite a proficient pilot (she had a very good teacher) and knew that if she could get as far as dialling the gate, then she couldn't be stopped. Unnoticed, she started up the engines and closed the rear door, quickly punching in the co-ordinates to her destination, vaguely aware of the futile commotion outside the jumper as the two soldiers realised that someone was stealing it. The doors below her opened and the little ship silently descended into the control room. One guard attempted to stop her by rather uselessly pointing a gun in the jumper's direction and she could see Richard Woolsey shouting something from the balcony. The moment before she went through the gate she glimpsed John running into the gate room as though his life depended on it, horrified at the face he recognised behind the controls of the jumper, and then she was gone.

The gate shut down to absolute silence as though the room's occupants were frozen in time: Richard Woolsey with one hand raised in a stop gesture, the soldiers pointing their guns at the gate and John in mid shout. Then as quickly it burst into activity. John could barely utter the words he needed to, but swallowed his emotions and fell back on his military training.

'Quickly, find out which address she went to. It's a long shot, but she may stay at the same location. If she doesn't, then we'll just have to harvest the signatures from the other gate.' Then he buzzed his radio. 'Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, suit up and get down to the gate room immediately. I'll tell you more when you get here.' He glanced up at Woolsey who simply nodded his permission, before he hurtled from the room to the smaller ante-room which served as their weapons and kit room. His mind was racing. It was so little time since he'd walked out of the gym and he really hadn't had any time to collect his thoughts. He was a man who liked to process things slowly and methodically and there'd been an awful lot to process in the last few days. He'd hardly had time to come to terms with the attempt on his life and Cat's, let alone the astonishing revelation that Andrew Alexander was her son and Jennifer Keller's words were still ringing in his ears. And now, true to character, Cat had gone off by herself but this time it wasn't just some hidden space in the city, but God knows where in the galaxy.

By the time he reached the weapons room, his team were already there and his heart was pounding painfully in his chest. The numbed shock he'd felt at first had now mutated into a combination of sheer panic and a violent self disgust at his actions and behaviour. He knew that he had behaved abysmally most of the way through the turbulent events, none more so than when he turned on his heel rather than taking her in his arms and letting her know how much he loved her and how delighted he was at her news. Cursing his foolishness, he said very little to the others, apart from a curt summary of the facts. He might have lost her this time; he might have lost them and his forehead was set with the furrowed frown that she so often managed to smooth away; his mouth grimly tight as SGA1 waited for the gate to dial.

***

As soon as the gate shut down behind her, Cat dumped the jumper and redialled. She knew exactly where she was going. After all, given her recent troubles, it really did seem the most appropriate place to go and possibly not one where John would think of looking. She quickly dialled the address, desperate to open a wormhole before Atlantis could dial her current location, and ran through the shimmering circle. The sharp whoosh as the gate shut down behind her felt like a door had closed on something important and each footstep she took was a step further away from the person she had believed to be her destiny. After all, she wasn't entirely alone, was she? She was carrying his child and there would always be a part of him that she could hang on to.

***

The abandoned jumper sat rather solemnly by the gate, hatch wide agape, and the mood of the team was much the same. John hadn't been surprised to find her already gone, and now Rodney was trying to download the last dialled addresses onto his laptop. Sitting on a rock, at some distance from the rest of his team, John was battling with emotions that now threatened to surface and he was damned if he was going to show them what he was feeling. Always a private man, he prided himself on his self control. I mean, life had thrown its fair share of thunderbolts at him and he had learned to shrug off each one as a means of self protection and survival. He was wearing the dark aviators that were now most effectively masking the feelings that his eyes could no longer shut out and from a distance only Teyla could sense what he was suffering, made all the worse by the most extreme of self-recriminations and a powerful sense of guilt. John didn't cry often, but he was very close to it and, if the others had been any closer, they would have seen his shoulders shaking, his feelings threatening to overpower him. How had things got so bad between them? Why hadn't he been able to accept straight away that Cat was bound to have secrets that she would rather keep from him? He had some that he had never divulged to her, after all. He wanted, no needed, to have her in his arms again, to kiss her soft lips and smell her very special perfume, that combination of vanilla and raspberries which he could almost imagine even now, and to press his hand on her belly and tell her how much he loved her and wanted their baby.

'Come on John, get a grip,' he thought, and running his hand through his unruly hair, stood up purposefully and strode over to Rodney. 'Any joy?'

'Well, I've managed to harvest a few addresses and I've sent a data-stream back to Atlantis. If we can run the addresses through our database, we might be able to work out where she might have gone?' Rodney glanced uncomfortably at his friend. They were not really ones for discussing 'feelings' and tended to offer each other crumbs of comfort with a grunt or an embarrassed glance. 'Um, are you alright?' He needn't have bothered. Although he couldn't see the withering look from behind the glasses, he knew from the set of his friend's mouth and the rigidity of his stance that he wasn't going to get an answer, let alone the usual 'I'm fine.'

It took Amelia Banks about ten tense minutes to come up with a list of planet names, all possible locations for Cat's quick exit. John only hoped that she had stayed put at the next one, or he knew by experience that the search might be futile, his busy brain already working out the mathematical computations. There were thirty planet names on the list and she could be at any one of them. He was about to despair when he recognised a familiar name. It made an odd kind of sense. That was where all their troubles seemed to have begun. Yes, this must be it.

'Rodney. I think I know where she is.' He pointed at the name that was next to the address.

Rodney stared at him incredulously then replied, 'Okay, I guess it's as good as anywhere. Danthos it is!'

***

Why she'd chosen to come here she couldn't say. Maybe it felt like completing the circle. Maybe her pregnancy drew her to this now fertile planet. Whatever the reason High Counsellor Balthus, who had initially been taken aback by her unexpected arrival, had obviously computed the possible benefits of having the wife of Atlantis' military commander, and the woman who many saw as their redeemer, as a guest. Right now, she didn't really want to consider what he thought those benefits might be. She was just grateful for a place to rest and where nobody asked any questions. In fact, she had never been so tired before and took the soft bed offered her with no real thought of what might happen next, falling asleep within seconds of her head hitting the pillow.

Rodney had no real expectation of finding Cat on Danthos, but then he didn't know her as well as John. For him, the fact that she ran away reminded him so much of the way Ford had disappeared, that he firmly believed she must have gated somewhere else, only staying on the planet for as much time as it took to dial the gate again. He continued to glance anxiously at his friend, now staunchly stomping ahead of him towards Danthos' main settlement. Despite his so-called insensitivity, he recognised the distress John was feeling and was grateful for the dark aviators which covered the eyes so effectively. Years of experience and getting to know the man, who in a million years he shouldn't ever have been able to call such a close friend, told him to stay clear and keep his distance. Ronon walked next to him, sharing the occasional worried look, protective as ever, and Teyla glided calmly just behind them. Rodney was not looking forward to John's reaction if Cat was not here. He looked again at his life-signs detector: too many people to identify one individual, but they were heading towards the main conglomeration. Finding one individual here could be like finding a needle in a haystack.

As they entered the village, so like many others they had come across in the galaxy, John was surprised to be greeted by a welcome party, headed by High Counsellor Balthus himself. John still harboured serious resentment against the little man and the annoyingly smug and self-satisfied smile that was he was wearing only served to increase his bad mood. With as much grace as he could muster, he folded his arms in front of him, habitually resting on his P90, and attempted a smile. It was just as well that he kept his glasses on, given the expression in his eyes that would have given him away.

'Colonel Sheppard?' began the other man. 'It is a pleasure to see you again. What can we do for you?'

'High Counsellor, I wish I could share your pleasure. Believe me, we are only here because we are looking for someone. We've not quite forgiven you for the whole 'put us all in danger with the strange blue energy blast thing'. Still, there may be a way that you can make it up to us.' John ensured that the right level of threat and danger was in his voice, not too difficult given how he was feeling.

'Anything, Colonel. We would be delighted to be back on friendly relations with Atlantis,' wheedled Balthus. John shushed Rodney, who had snorted derisively behind him and muttered something along the lines of 'I bet you would'. 'Tell me how we can help?'

John cleared his throat, unsure of what to say next and, as ever, Teyla stepped in, the consummate diplomat. 'We are looking for Doctor Sheppard, High Counsellor, and we have reason to believe she may have come here. I am certain that Mr Woolsey would be very pleased if you could help us find her.'

Balthus paused, the irritating smile becoming even broader. 'Well, Colonel, I think we may just be able to help you.'

Cat awoke to some distant sounds, unaware at first of where or what time it was. She was warm and comfortable, bundled up in an array of multi-coloured quilts and blankets which muffled her protectively from the outside world. She felt as though she could stay here forever, frozen in this moment, comfortable and safe for the first time in weeks. She had just settled down into the covers again when the door to her room flew open, bringing with it a blast of cold air, a dark figure outlined in the bright light outside, an outline whose head had a familiar spiky shadow.

'Cat! Oh my God, are you alright?' He slammed the door behind him, made the bed in two strides and took her in his arms, holding her as though he would never let her go, his whole body quivering with the release of all the pent up emotions he had been suffering. Eventually he released her, but only so that he could see her face, which he took gently between his hands, staring into her eyes, trying to catch her feelings. 'I'm so sorry, my darling. Sorry for everything. Sorry for being such an insensitive and selfish bastard. Please forgive me? Please say you forgive me? I love you so much. Please say we can put this whole nightmare behind us.' He must have noticed the softening expression in her eyes and the tears beginning to well up as he added, 'After all, you need someone to look after you even more, now we're going to be parents.' At this, he placed his left hand gently on her stomach, the smile in his hazel eyes showing her how much he loved her and how much he wanted their baby, and then he paused expectantly, hoping for some kind of response from her.

She was so stunned by his sudden and unexpected arrival that she was literally speechless, only made worse by the look in his eyes and the feel of his large hand gently stroking her belly. It wasn't until fear and doubt begin to creep into his expression that she found any words at all. 'You, you really want this baby? I mean, I wasn't sure when you walked out of the gym and you were so upset with me about the other business that I thought you didn't want me anymore. I'd understand if that's how you feel, but I just can't stay on Atlantis if it is. That's why I left.' At this, it all became too much for her and she began to cry, big tears rolling down her cheeks like a two year old.

She felt his arms tighten protectively around her, and then holding her chin in his hand he kissed her softly. 'I want you. I need you. Always,' he managed to utter, before he kissed her again, this time the kiss becoming deeper and more passionate. When they finally drew breath, she just about managed to utter the words, 'I love you', before he kissed her again, and the fact that they were lying on a large soft bed became very convenient. Forgotten were all the torments of the last days and also the group of people waiting expectantly outside. In any case, if they could have looked they would have seen the rest of the team sitting with Balthus at a tactful distance, only occasionally passing wary glances at the closed door. If they knew the couple well, it might be some time before they appeared.

'I'd better take this uniform off then,' he smiled, as he undid his tack vest and threw it on the floor. John slowly kissed the side of her neck, nuzzling her just behind her left ear, taking in the perfume that he had imagined just an hour ago. Gently he unbuttoned her shirt, kissing downwards from her neck and across her breasts, causing her to whimper, then he undid the zip of her trousers, chortling at the already undoable button and wondering how he could have been so blind not to have noticed the slight swelling just beginning to show. He let his hand rest on her belly, stroking her softly, and looking again into her eyes kissed her so lovingly that she could be in no doubt of how he felt. 'You make me very happy, my love,' he whispered, 'and I will make damn sure that you never have to doubt my support and love again', then he followed his hand with his mouth, until she moaned with the pleasure of his touch; rising up again he straddled her carefully, letting her see precisely what effect she was having on him.

Cat looked up at the man she loved, drinking in the look of him slowly, needing the reassurance that he was actually with her. He knew how much she enjoyed watching him undress and slowly and deliberately he undid his shirt buttons, and then took off the black t-shirt underneath, slightly ruffling his hair as he did. Talk of babies and pregnancies would happen later. Right now she moved her hands from his chest, down his firm stomach, and undoing his trouser belt, slowly pulled down the zip. He helped her take off his black trousers with a deliberately sexy wiggle and a naughty smile then, making sure that she was also suitably undressed, lowered himself gently onto her, nibbling her left ear seductively as he did. In moments they were lost in each other, regardless of anything else around them, let alone any noises that might creep out via the gaps in the rickety door.

Outside, Ronon smiled at Teyla. All was finally well and life could finally get back to normal. Rodney inwardly reflected on the wonders of this galaxy, not one easily given to fantastical thoughts. They had come full circle, and somehow the events all those months ago on this very planet had produced a mother twice over. He suspected, however, that the mother she was about to become would be the happier and he actually giggled out loud, winning surprised looks from his team mates, at the thought of John Sheppard as a father and at all the dashed hopes of the women of Atlantis that one day he might be theirs.

THE END

Or is it?

_If you want the continuation of the John/Cat story please R&R. I hope you liked it._


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